— 1 —

Lent is coming and I have a book that’s hot off the presses.

And guess what? It’s only $1.99.

So go to your local Catholic bookstore (or one of the many other places you’ll find it, if you don’t have a store locally). Parishes receive bulk discounts, depending on the quantity they order, and can call 800-325-9521 to speak to the sales department at Liguori about that.

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Mary Moments are back! Thanks to Fr. Jay Finelli’s support, I’ll be producing a weekly Mary Moment segment on the iPadre show. This week: 3 reasons I love Our Lady of Lourdes. Listen to the whole show for a fabulous summary of the story of Our Lady of Lourdes, too.

— 3 —

What’s your favorite game app? I share three of my kids’ favorites in this week’s Tech Talk.

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Remember how I promised a full review of Strategies for a Tech-Savvy Classroom? It’s up over at CatholicMom.com.

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It’s hard to believe that Daria Sockey has been blogging at Coffee & Canticles for a year already!

In honor of her one year anniversary, she has a pile of giveaways related to the Liturgy of the Hours. Go on over and enter.

While you’re there, be sure to wish her well!

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In case you missed it the other day, I’m giving away a ton of books. You can enter as many times as you qualify for until February 21.

There are new titles by Christopher West, Mark Shea, Lisa Hendey, and Anthony DeStefano, among others.

So what are you waiting for? Enter!

— 7 —

Been a big week for the Tooth Fairy around here:

Visit Betty Beguiles, our lovely sub hostess, for more Quick Takes!

When she told me she had read my blog, there was a thunk as I fell out of my chair.

Turns out, her sister and brother-in-law (my great-aunt and great-uncle, if you’re keeping track of the family tree) are logging her onto the computer.

Then she told me about how they had lunch with some girlhood friends of her sister’s, one of whom is Catholic and…get this!…has heard of me.

Let’s all pause for a good laugh, shall we?

Now, to encourage you to laugh more–it has tremendous health benefits, after all, and hey, it’s fun–here’s a look at my life of late. (These pictures are also to answer all of Grandma’s questions about the kids, who she misses a lot.)

This is the mancub, 13 months old and into everything. He is all boy.

Yes, he is walking now. And climbing. He especially likes stools. And the couch. And the recliner.

He is also a big fan fan of rocking.

The seven-year-old loves reading and math. She hates–with a passion–the reports she has to do about the books she reads for school.

I realized, when I compiled our photo calendar for this year, that I need to take more pictures of the seven-year-old.

Which is how I captured this moment:

And no post would be complete without the four-year-old, whose quirkiness and personality make us laugh hourly (and inspire hair-pulling episodes with equal frequency).

She likes to help. That makes her a good big sister, as you can see:

So there you go, Grandma, a post just for you! (And one that the other grandmas are all enjoying, too!)

Today is your day. And we remember.

As we look at the beauty of the day, as we struggle through commonplace challenges, as we get on with our lives forever changed, we remember.

As we pray for your soul and those who grieve most deeply, we remember.

As we heal and yet remain broken, we remember.

It’s hard to believe it’s been two years since we got the phone call on the country road, changing all of our lives forever.

Time dulls pain, or so the saying goes. But on January 3, after only two years, I can’t help but think that the pain is not so dulled.

I feel, sometimes, like I end up writing about things that aren’t mine. It wasn’t my husband who died, after all. It’s not my children who have to comfort themselves with thoughts of a father in heaven, as opposed to the feel of his arms hugging them.

Maybe that’s my role. Maybe my job is to share, to commemorate, to expose whatever small part of the grief that I can access. Maybe I am chronicling it and sharing the gift with more people.

Because it is a gift, even though it hurts. It hurts people whose pain I would carry, whose burdens I would bear.

I see it in her eyes, sometimes, when she doesn’t remember to guard them. I see it, other times, in the tilt of a head, in the extra-long moment spent in the bathroom, in the surreptitious wipe of hands across a face.

It’s funny, how we remember. There are times when we’ll be talking about something, and you will come up, be a part of the conversation.

It’s odd, in fact, how we feel that we know you better now that we’re around your girls–all three of them–so much more. I feel, at times, like you left us something like a living memory, one that we may not have appreciated if not for the lens through which we see it now.

You must be so proud of your girls. It’s hard on them, though they are brave and courageous and do their best to be self-sufficient.

Send them some comfort today, a hug from heaven. Have Mama Mary hold them tightly.

Related:

• In 2011: Remembering and Remembering with Prayer
• In 2010: Be a Mother to Us Now and Living in the Now
• Allen’s tribute

(card via Shutterfly)

Around the house: Girls, pounding and playing and happy in the other room; boy, pounding and playing and happy across the room; husband, showering and feeling better (he was sick yesterday).

In my kitchen: We’re ready for Christmas feasting, I tell ya. I might even make a pie. From scratch. But we’ll see.

In my thoughts: Boy, do I some rambling thoughts today, most centering on my bad attitude and struggle through Advent.

In thanksgiving: For prayers and novenas and blessings.

Nose inserted: Women, Sex, and the Church: A Case for Catholic Teaching, edited by Erika Bachiochi and two–TWO!–manuscripts (one by Meredith Gould).

Links I like:

• If the Infant Christ was God, Why Couldn’t He Speak? – I am never disappointed by Marc Barnes’s writing. Though the whole thing is well worth reading (a must-read, I daresay), here’s my favorite part: “So in the last few weeks of Advent, embrace your weakness. Kneel before the manger and worship the Christ-child by imitation of the Christ-child. And never forget that if Christ’s humility is incomprehensible in his humanity, how much more must it be in his body and blood in the form of bread and wine. There, there is the ultimate helplessness. There the Christ deigns not only to be silent, but to be food. Sacrificed for our sake, his ultimate act of weakness is our ultimate source of strength.”
• The Pope’s 3 Wishes for Christmas – I find myself, once again, just in awe–and in love–with our dear Papa. What great wishes! And…well, it makes me rethink what I should be aiming for at Christmas.
• Tired Benedict Needs Our Prayers – I’m glad I caught this. I do pray for the pope, but this just strikes me heart in a special way.
• Gene and Alice and the Luminous Mysteries – A lovely piece by Deacon Tom Fox that captures so much of what’s important about marriage…and about prayer.

A favorite thing: Mass.

Food for thought: “Every time we say the Our Father our voices mingle with the voice of the Church; for those who pray are never alone.” – Benedict XVI, Angelus Address, July 25, 2010 (via BenedictEverday.com)

Worth a thousand words: With thanks to my photo-happy sister-in-law:

Don’t forget to send a picture of YOUR Advent wreath for tomorrow’s Advent Wreath Carnival!

It made me think how some of the very best gifts I’ve gotten are those that aren’t necessarily something I’ve asked for.

For the mom who wants time alone:

Oh yes, you can be awesome and give her an entire Saturday, but you could also arrange to give her an hour or two every Saturday through the winter, couldn’t you? Winter seems to be a particularly challenging time for me (mentally and physically), and the opportunity to be alone every week would be a truly wonderful gift.

Make this gift really shine by involving Eucharistic Adoration somehow.

For the mom who needs a nap: 

Well, you could make her a coupon or certificate for a nap anytime she wants, but you could also support vocations and hook her up with some Mystic Monks coffee. I had a subscription for a couple of years, and as soon as I can swing it, I plan to get one again. Their Midnight Vigils Blend is every bit as good as everyone says it is, and I’m also partial to their Cowboy Blend.

They just started selling tea, and it’s possible that my long affiliation with Republic of Tea (their ginseng peppermint is high on my list of favorites) could be endangered…

For the mom whose list is longer than your arm:

It’s possible she’s bad at planning or that she’s bitten off more than she can chew. It’s also possible that she’s just in that season of life where things are busy. So why not offer her your help–your actual, physical, full-attention self for a few hours every week? Now, mind you, you might have to be a little sneaky about this. She might nod and thank you and expect you to forget. There’s some accountability you’re going to have to take on to really give this as a gift of yourself to this mom. But wrapping a virtual ribbon around yourself and offering to fold laundry, do dishes, juggle schedules, or any number of other things will be something she won’t ever forget.

For the mom who likes to read:

A gift certificate might be appropriate, but it’s more fun to have something wrapped under the tree, don’t you agree? How about A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms: 52 Companions for Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul, by Lisa Hendey, or Stealing Jenny, by Ellen Gable? If she’s tech-savvy, download the Kindle app to her computer, phone, or tablet and hook her up with some of the many free books that are available? (Here’s a site I found the other day with free books available online.)

For the mom who’s technology-challenged:

Can you offer to be tech support for her? To take care of all the annoying little things that come up with her computer, her phone, or her other devices? Can you program her TV, make the remote work with the DVD player, or set up the computer to leave her alone about the anti-virus controls?

For the mom who never stops doing laundry:

Here’s an idea: give her a day off every month. Now, to do this successfully, you have to be able to do that laundry she would have done that day. And “doing” laundry doesn’t just mean washing and drying it. It means folding it and putting it away. And I don’t mean “putting it away eventually,” I mean “putting it away before she gets home.” The idea is that she has a day (or, in the cases of smaller families, maybe a whole week) free from laundry. This is especially good for those moms who hate laundry.

For the mom who needs a friend:

I don’t know what I’d do without my best friend. I have plenty of other friends, mind you, but this one friend is the one I lean on and turn to when I’m feeling particularly cranky or happy. She appreciates the little silly excitements in my day and she also reminds me when I might need to head to Confession or make an appointment for Adoration. Every mom deserves a friend…and while you might not be able to give the mom in your life a friend, you can carve out time to make it possible for her to go and spend time with Jesus, can’t you? Whether it’s making it possible for her to attend daily Mass or allowing her to escape to Adoration, Jesus is the best Person she can spend time with, don’t you agree?

For any mom:

I haven’t met many moms who don’t appreciate some form of homemade gift. One year, for my husband, I recorded my then-three-year-old singing songs for him and burned them to a DVD. I’ve caught him listening to them on his iPod, too. He loves them. And, truth be told, so do I. So, whoever the mom you’re gifting for, consider something homemade, with your heart in it. She’s sure to love it and to appreciate the fact that your heart’s in it.

Your turn! What ideas do YOU have for moms?

Around the house: It’s me and the boy. I finished doing the bills (which should have been done yesterday, but…weren’t, and I had a delightful reason why, too!) and nothing says “procrastinate folding and let the dishes sit a bit longer” like doing a weekend daybook, wouldn’t you agree?

In my thoughts: I have Mary on my mind. I’m struggling in an extra-special way today, and though I’m doing my best to put a good face on Advent, I’m sort of failing, and, well, Mary’s in my thoughts.

In my plans: Ah yes, my plans. They seem to be upended by a series of circumstances that could have me laughing or crying. I’m holding on to the reality that I can choose my response.

In thanksgiving: For work. For family. For chocolate.

In my prayers: Those who grieve, those who hurt, those who struggle with forgiveness.

Nose inserted: I’m juggling two books, though I have hopes of finishing one of them today: Ten Universal Principles: A Brief Philosophy of the Life Issues, by Robert J. Spitzer, and Fatima for Today: The Urgent Marian Message of Hope, by Fr. Andrew Apostoli.

Recent reads: Michael O’Brien’s The Father’s Tale. I’m planning to write a review yet this week about it. It’s one of the best books I’ve read this year (though it is, admittedly, VERY long).

Links I like:

• Advent History: The Nativity Fast – Now here’s something I didn’t know about the history of Advent. What would it be like, I wonder, to go through a Nativity Fast of 40 days, a “Lent” before Christmas?
• Feel the joy! – This picture of Mary and Elizabeth is one of my favorites. I almost made it the background on my desktop, it moved me so much. I love the Visitation, and this image is now the one I’ll be using and reflecting on when I’m praying.
• Mary’s Last Words – This column considers the depth and meaning in Mary’s last recorded words in Scripture, “Do whatever he tells you.” There was a lot I hadn’t considered before and, as usual with Dr. Ted Sri, a thorough examination of Scripture in a way that, I think, will change my prayer and approach to it. Amazing stuff.
• Gay, Catholic, and Doing Fine – I just came across this link this week, though it’s from a while back. Who says you can’t be gay and Christian? My experience (in other matters) has been very similar as what’s recorded here. Our pastor has worked with Courage, and I was shocked–SHOCKED!–when, as a new Catholic, I found out that the Catholic Church has an apostolate to help those who have homosexual tendencies. I consider this a must-read.

A favorite thing: Bare baby feet.

Food for thought: “Particularly in our faith, we do not stand alone; we are links in the great chain of believers. Nobody can believe unless he is supported by the faith of others, and conversely, through my faith, I help to strengthen others in their faith.” Benedict XVI

Worth a thousand words: The Birthday Boy

Eight years ago, we planned a big party.

Eight years ago, he waited for me at the end of an aisle.

Eight years ago, we knelt beneath the Cross and sealed our happiness with a Sacrament.

Eight years ago, we exchanged rings.

Eight years ago, we sealed it with a kiss.

 Eight years ago, we shared the first of many knives, the first of many cakes, the first of many great desserts.

Eight years ago, he looked at me, I laughed, and we began a lifetime together.

Eight years ago, we danced a moonlight serenade and I started practicing letting him lead.

Eight years ago, I took his hand, for better or for worse.

And one year ago, we celebrated our anniversary with the best gift we could imagine.

November 29th is one of my favorite days of the year.

Our Lady of Beauraing, pray for us.