interview

A Few Moments with Michael Stidham

September 14, 2009 By Sarah Reinhard Leave a Comment

Thanks to Michael Stidham for stopping by today for a few words. I reviewed Michael’s book, Love Equals Sacrifice, a while back.

Michael, I was very moved by Love Equals Sacrifice. What inspired you to start writing? When did you start to feel called to share your story with the world through a book?

Taking care of my father when he suffered with Alzheimer’s was the hardest thing I had ever done. Following his death, it steadily became the most rewarding. This paradox amazes me even today. Two years after my father’s death, I was almost worried that my story would be forgotten if something happened to me. So, I sat down and started writing. Fortunately, two years later, my book was released. My motivation for writing it was, I wanted people going through the same situation to know their efforts are not in vein and they’re doing the right thing. Adversity has a redeeming quality to it.

One of the things I wanted to read more about in your book (so I’m holding out hope for a sequel!) was your journey back to the Catholic Church. Can you explain what led you back to the Church, particularly at a time that some might have thought God was farther away than ever?

I know exactly what you mean. Day after day, we are bombarded with negative stories on the nightly news, internet and so on. It can sometimes be overwhelming. With all the pressure most families are under right now, it is hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. However, life is a journey and most of all, God wants each one of us in Heaven, with him, for eternity.

The primary reason I returned to the Catholic Church took place about three months after my father passed away. I was channel surfing on television one evening and I ran across a gentleman that looked like a fireman I know. I decided to listen to what he had to say and I’ve been watching him for about four years now. His name is Father John Corapi and he is on EWTN television twice a week. His presentations of Catholic Doctrine are simple and concise, but they’re not boring, hour-long lectures. He interjects his personal experience throughout the shows and I find them very interesting. If you give him a chance, I’m sure you’ll realize as I did, that in the past, Catholic Doctrine was not explained as well as it should have been.

For the last few years, your entire life was caring for your father. Do you have any hobbies that you’ve taken, rediscovered or new hobbies that you’ve adopted?

In my book, I describe a friend of mine accidentally hitting me in the eye with a golf club. Thirty-five years after that incident, he and I occasionally shoot clay pigeons at our local sportsman’s club. My father and I used to play golf together, but after he became ill we had to stop. Lately, I’ve been able to resume playing, although I can’t seem to hit the ball quite as far as I used to…

In your various commitments, what do you find is your greatest challenge? How do you face and/or conquer that challenge?

In order to strengthen your muscles, you need to exercise them. It works the same way with virtue. My greatest challenge during a difficult period is maintaining my level of patience, humility and putting others ahead of myself. It is difficult, but as physical exercise becomes easier over time, so does exercising virtue. I continually pray and ask for God’s help in this area.

Where can we learn more about you and your book?

You can find more about me and my book at www.LoveEqualsSacrifice.com.

I’ve learned a lot during my life, but there’s still a lot to learn. Like in the military, God is going to give you certain missions to do as you go through life, but He will give you the tools to finish the job. If you, your family or friends have a problem, please don’t be afraid to pray and ask for God’s help. Seemingly impossible situations for you and I are easy for God to handle.

Filed Under: interview Tagged With: Books, interview, Michael Stidham

Keeping Company with Karen

August 20, 2009 By Sarah Reinhard 4 Comments

Today, I am thrilled to share a recent conversation I had with the amazing Karen Edmisten.

Karen, let’s start by having you tell us a little bit about yourself.

I’m the homeschooling mom of three terrific daughters, ages 15, 13 and 7. We’ve been homeschooling since my oldest entered first grade. I have been extremely blessed to be married to Tom (Atticus on my blog) for 25 years, and we’re both converts to the Catholic faith. Formerly an atheist, I became a Christian just shy of my 30th birthday. I was baptized by an Episcopal priest, but continued my investigation of Christianity. Five years later, I was received into the Catholic Church. Tom became a Catholic five years after that. It’s been quite a journey, to say the least!

What was your journey to becoming a writer — or finding out you’re a writer — like? What did it involve?

Writing has always been a part of me in one way or another. From the time I was young, I kept diaries and wrote stories and plays. I kept endless journals in college — I’ve always thought of writing as the way I make sense of things. I have to work things out on paper. Sometimes, in order to stop a thought from swirling endlessly in my head, I simply have to write it down.

So, I’ve always loved to write, and in my twenties, I made some concerted effort to get published. Nothing came of it, though, and I basically set it aside. (I got too busy trying to find out the meaning of life.) A couple of years after I came into the Catholic Church, when I was on my parish’s RCIA team, I gave witness talks about my conversion. My spiritual director suggested I send my story to New Covenant magazine. Mike Aquilina (the editor of that magazine at the time) bought the story, and after that, I began sending out work to other magazines. Apparently, God’s plan for me did include writing, but not until I was writing about Him.

How does being a writer change your approach to your life? Do you find that you act or do things differently now (or once you called yourself a writer) than you did before?

I don’t think being a writer has changed my approach to life because, as I mentioned earlier, I’ve always felt compelled to write. I’ve always transferred experience and feeling onto paper, though in the past it was done as private journaling and in long letters to friends. I guess that’s the biggest change — now some of those transferred experiences make it onto my blog or into my work. My poor kids! And, I don’t write those long letters to friends anymore, alas.

I have particularly enjoyed your writing about becoming stronger through suffering. Could you share about that, and about how your suffering has led you to where you are today?

I think that it’s mainly and powerfully through suffering that God speaks to us. Christ’s suffering is what helps us to make sense of our own suffering, and our suffering always points us to the Cross. It helps us to see that this “valley of tears” is not our true home, and that our suffering, when united with the suffering of Jesus, has vast and eternal meaning.

C.S. Lewis once said that “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” That sums it up for me, and it’s certainly been true in my life.

Pleasure (in the blessings and joys of creation) and a newly formed conscience (as I grew in awareness of both Scripture and Sacred Tradition) were certainly huge parts of my conversion, but it has been in my sufferings that I have grown immeasurably closer to God. I suffered through a great deal of unhappiness when I was searching for meaning in life, and I have suffered losses such as miscarriages that felt devastating. But, God has always used every kind of loss to draw me closer to Him. He has always been able to bring growth from my suffering, to show me a new way to view it — to offer a kind of resurrection from every crucifixion.

In your life today, as a Catholic homeschooling wife, mother, and writer, what’s your greatest challenge? How do you overcome it?

I think my greatest challenges are meal planning and keeping up with email.

Just kidding. But, it IS hard to balance everything in life. My faith informs my choices and my scheduling. My vocation as a wife and mother comes first and it follows that, since we’ve chosen homeschooling, school also ranks right up there.

I have to prioritize accordingly. I can’t put my husband, kids and school on hold in order to complete writing work, so I do limit the amount of work I take on. I also have to be very selective about what I say yes to regarding volunteer work. There are a million good causes and things (both volunteering — at the parish level and beyond — and work projects) out there, but I have to keep in mind the best “causes and things” that God has put right in front of me: my husband and family. I handle my “top priorities” best when I stay focused on them. When I keep Tom and the girls at the top of the list, the other things generally fall into place, and it all works out.

Karen, is there anything else you’d like to share?

I’d just like to say that although many of us in the blogging world know that the internet can be a temptation to time-wasting, or a way to avoid what’s right in front of us, it can also be an enormous blessing. Internet connections have brought new friendships and much beauty into my life. Thanks so much for the opportunity to “talk” with you this way. I’ve always loved coming here to listen in on “just another day of your Catholic pondering,” so it’s fun to chat with you about these things. Thank you!

Many thanks to Karen for taking time to have this conversation. If you haven’t read her book, The Rosary: Keeping Company with Jesus and Mary…WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? (I’m a big fan.)

Filed Under: interview, writing Tagged With: Faith, interview, Karen Edmisten, Motherhood, writing

Ginny and Me

August 13, 2009 By Sarah Reinhard 4 Comments

Today, I’m honored to welcome Ginny Moyer for an interview. Ginny blogs at Mary and Me and is the award-winning author of Mary and Me: Catholic Women Reflect on the Mother of God (which I reviewed a while back).

Ginny, I’ve gotten to know you through your blog and your book. For those readers who aren’t familiar with your work, share a bit about yourself.

Mary and Me Thanks for asking! I’m a thirty-something mother of two young boys, Matthew and Luke (this is usually where people start cracking evangelist jokes). I’m also a writer, high school teacher, blogger, gardener, and sporadic exerciser. Last year my book, Mary and Me: Catholic Women Reflect on the Mother of God, was published. It’s a book in which forty-six women of all ages share their own experiences of the Blessed Mother. Writing the book was an amazing experience … more on that in the next question.

On my blog, I identify myself as a “formerly lapsed Catholic.” That seems like an odd way to introduce oneself, but it’s such a huge part of my identity as a writer and just as a human being, too. I was a cradle Catholic who went to parochial schools through high school. In college and my early twenties, I basically wanted nothing to do with Catholicism. But then, in graduate school, I began to be pulled back to the faith. For the last twelve years, I’ve been on a really joyful (and often very surprising) journey of reengaging with Catholicism, and getting to know it as an adult.

I know you’re a big fan of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Ginny. How did that devotion start, and how does it play out now that you’re a mother yourself?

My elementary school was staffed by the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. They had a very strong Marian devotion, and that permeated most aspects of the school. As a kid, I really admired Mary. She was so beautiful and queenly.

During my years away from Catholicism, I had a very different reaction to Mary. She seemed to represent lots of negative things, like passivity and unreachable perfection. I was pretty disenchanted with her during my early twenties. But as I reengaged with Catholicism, I began to see that there was so much more to her than I’d thought. Little by little, she began to edge her way into my affections, and I started to see her as a very strong, even gutsy woman.

Interestingly, it was tragedy that helped take my devotion to another level. Before my sons were born, I suffered two pregnancy losses – an ectopic and a miscarriage. Each of those losses ended up bringing me closer to Mary, in ways that I would never, NEVER have expected (I go into the details in Mary and Me). And as I wrote the book, and as I talked to so many diverse women about their experiences of Mary, I just kept finding more about her to love.

And gosh, as a mom, I just adore her. It’s such a relief to know that she “gets it” – the unconditional love and the mom-worry and the absolute terror that I feel at the mere thought of ever losing my boys. What a gift to have such a woman in my faith life!

As a Catholic wife and mother, what are your biggest faith hurdles? How do you work to overcome them?

Without question, the biggest faith hurdle is establishing a regular prayer life. Oh, I’ve tried so many different things. Earlier this year, I thought of doing a Year of Prayer, and taking each month to try a different form of daily prayer (the rosary, spiritual reading, praying with the saints, etc.), just to see what I liked.

I kept it up for about four months, and then it just sort of fell apart. For one thing, I never quite hit on the best time of day to pray. But the other thing I realized is that the exercise was turning prayer into one more thing on my “to do” list.

So lately, I’ve been trying mindfulness: thinking of God and inviting God into each moment. I imagine God sitting with me as I email or drive in the car or do umpteen million other things. I tell him whatever is on my mind, even the stupid things. It’s feeling more like a real relationship now than it has for a long time. That’s a good thing.

Now, I live firmly in the heart of the Midwest (which, on a good day, I’ll call God’s country along with all the other Buckeyes), so I can’t help but see greener grass where you live in California. Are you native to that area? What do you love (or hate or both) about life in California?

Yes, I’m a native Californian. I grew up in Silicon Valley; my dad was an electrical engineer, as were most of my friends’ dads. In spite of that, I have managed to become one of the least tech-savvy people I know (just ask my husband).

Where I live (the San Francisco Bay Area) is really beautiful, and wonderfully diverse. It’s great to go to Mass and see so many different people from so many different places. It really underscores the global nature of Catholicism. And, interestingly, California has quite a Catholic past, with its chain of missions up and down the state.
That said, it’s crowded here. And once the rainy season of early spring has passed, you don’t get rain until the late fall, usually. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it means that the hills turn brown. I like green. When we visit my in-laws in upstate New York, I just can’t get over the forests, and those lush hills. It’s gorgeous. I think I have a little bit of green envy.

You are one of the Catholic moms I look to in my ongoing battle against the juggling disease. As a high school teacher, writer, mother, wife, and many other things, can you share some wisdom with how you get it all done?

I guess it’s a few things. I’ve let myself off the hook in terms of cleaning on a rigid schedule. I clean house when I just can’t stand it anymore, or when company is coming, but I don’t do it every week. My husband fully supports me in this, bless him.

When I’m teaching, about two meals a week are the frozen-in-a-bag-dump-them-in-the-skillet variety. I actually like cooking, but I save the more ambitious dinners for weekends and try to make enough for leftovers.

Both of the boys are amazing sleepers; once they’re down at night, they’re down. That’s a lifesaver in terms of getting work done in the evenings. My parents live nearby and are eager babysitters, which is a HUGE gift, and my husband has a bit of flexibility with his hours.

And, you know, you find time to do the things you really love (that must be why I clean house so rarely). In a way, I don’t think writing is really a choice for me. It’s my sanity-saver. It’s also a form of prayer, too, come to think of it.

Ginny, thanks so much for sharing so much with us. Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Come visit my blog! It’s called Mary and Me, and that’s pretty much what it is: some of the posts are about Mary, and some are about me and the random topics that fill my days (including Sesame Street, watching BBC dramas, and looking up the definition of “corker.”) I’d love to get to know you there!

Filed Under: interview, Motherhood Tagged With: Books, Ginny Moyer, interview, Motherhood, Virgin Mary, writing

Meet Author Gail Graham

June 24, 2009 By Sarah Reinhard Leave a Comment

I’m excited to share a conversation I had with Gail Graham, author of, among other things, Sea Changes, which I reviewed a few weeks ago.

I see that you have some extensive experience with writing, Gail. Tell us a little about how you got started publishing books.
I began writing when I was in kindergarten, and sold my first short story when I was 16 years old. I’ve been writing ever since. At one point, I was supporting myself by writing true confessions – I was a (fictitious) unwed mother 27 times before I ever even had sex! I’ve published six other books, here and in Australia, where I lived for 32 years. And I’ve also won a number of literary awards, including the German Buxtehude Bulle.

What led you or inspired you to write Sea Changes? Partly, I was inspired by my own experience of widowhood. I lost my husband 20 years ago and I was totally unprepared for the way a woman “disappears” once she’s a widow. People see you differently; actually, many people don’t see you at all. The person you were ceases to exist. You have to recreate yourself. This doesn’t happen to men, but it does happen to women. It occurred to me that nobody had ever written about it, that there were no heroic widows in contemporary fiction. Sarah Andrews is a widow, but she’s not pathetic and she’s not invisible. She’s strong. She’s powerful.

My other inspiration came from a documentary I saw about people who believed they’d been abducted by aliens. I was struck by how ordinary these people were – they weren’t lunatics, they weren’t publicity seekers, they were just everyday people who’d had an extraordinary experience and believed in that experience, despite what others said. I wondered how that would feel, to hold two contradictory ideas about “reality” in your mind at once; to live with the contradiction, to live in two worlds. And of course, that’s exactly what happens to Sarah Andrews.

You cover the tension between an American perspective and an Australian perspective so beautifully in Sea Changes. I know you lived and worked in Australia for 32 years. Tell us about your personal experience as an American in Australia and how that influenced or inspired your writing.
Australia is very different from America. Australians are very different from Americans. Americans are inspirational, whereas Australians pride themselves on what they call their “weary cynicism.” Americans strive, struggle and succeed. Australians shrug, and go to the beach. These are very different attitudes towards life, and I found it very difficult to adapt to the negativity that pervades every aspect of Australian life. Americans care passionately about all sorts of things, but Australians don’t care about anything. I think part of this comes from the political set-up. They have elections and politicians, but the Queen still has the last word. In 1972, the Queen literally sacked the government, and put the other party in power. Australians don’t expect to control their lives, and they don’t. They hate authority, but they never really challenge it. And they’re much more violent than Americans, and they drink a lot.

What was the greatest challenge in writing Sea Changes?
The challenge wasn’t so much in the writing as it was in getting it published. I wasn’t really aware of how much the publishing industry had changed in the United States. Everything had to be genre – and Sea Changes is not genre fiction. That was the whole idea. I didn’t want to write genre fiction. I wanted to write a novel that was different, and unique. When I left America in 1970, being “different” was a good thing. But not now. So the fact that I hadn’t written a genre novel was a big disadvantage.

The second big challenge was finding an agent. Writers used to be able to approach publishers directly, but not any more. You have to have an agent. The agents have become the new “gate-keepers” – it’s the agents who decide which novels will see the light of day and which won’t. And since agents work on commission, they favor genre fiction, because it’s easy to market genre fiction. All of this is having a profound influence on what Americans read.

I did eventually find an agent, and a publisher. But even for a writer with my background and track record, it was incredibly difficult.

Were there any unexpected developments as you wrote Sea Changes? I’ve read about authors who say the characters take on a life of their own; did you experience that in your writing? How? Yes, absolutely. Bantryd (the young girl who follows Sarah home) came unexpectedly to life and took the story in an entirely different direction than I had originally intended. It’s great when that happens, but it’s also a little bit scary. You sit there thinking, Where is this going? Where can this possibly go? It’s wonderful. And I don’t think it happens in genre fiction, because there’s not enough room for it to happen. Genre fiction is formula fiction. That’s why some readers like it; they know what’s going to happen, there aren’t any surprises. But Sea Changes is full of surprises. It even surprised me.

Which character did you or do you most relate with? Was there a character that gave you more difficulty than the others?
I relate mostly to Sarah, who – like me – is an American widow living in Australia. So Sarah was easy. I think the character who gave me the most difficulty was Kahn, the psychoanalyst. He’s Australian, and I had to try to get inside the head of someone whose basic beliefs were very different from my own. And psychoanalysts can be a bit of a cliché, because they work so hard at obliterating their personalities. The whole technique requires them to be non-persons. But I wanted Kahn to be a real person, and that was difficult. I’m rather eager to hear the reaction of a psychoanalyst who’s read the novel, because that’s the only way I’ll know if I succeeded or not.

Anything else you’d like to add? Sea Changes is very much a book discussion group sort of novel. I’ve belonged to several book groups, and our biggest challenge is always finding something “different” to read. I guess this is one of the paradoxes of publishing today – book groups are an important market, but book groups usually don’t want to read genre fiction (unless they’re genre book groups). Two of the book groups I belong to have completely given up on contemporary fiction, and are re-reading the classics. I think that’s sad. Today’s novels are tomorrow’s classics. But before they can become classics, they have to be written, and published and – most important of all – read. I’m happy to meet “electronically” with book groups and talk about Sea Changes, and – for any groups within 300 miles of Tucson – visit in person. Contact me through the website at www.gailgraham.net.

Thanks so much, Gail! Sea Changes would make great summer reading, so you be sure to check it out.

Filed Under: Books, interview, writing

Tim Warneka on Writing

June 13, 2009 By Sarah Reinhard Leave a Comment

I’m excited to welcome author, coach, husband, father, counselor, and consultant Tim Warneka back for today’s interview.

Tim, welcome back, and thanks for taking the time to answer these questions. Last time, we spoke quite a bit about Catholic Servant Leadership and your work. This time, I’d like to focus on your work as a writer. What inspired you to start writing?

Ah … writing. God really dragged me kicking and screaming into writing. (Laughs.)

I began writing right after 9/11. I was working as a clinical counselor treating children and adolescents. After 9/11, many parents of kids I was working with (as well as parents at my church) came up to me, wanting to know how to talk to their kids about it.

I sat down and wrote “Ten Tips for Talking to Children About Terrorism” (available on my web page here). As my first public writing, I found this piece very difficult to write. But, with God’s help, I finished the article and emailed it out to some of the parents I was working with.

The tip sheet really took off. I heard from parents and professionals from all around the world who found my world helpful … which was a deeply humbling experience for me. A few months later, I was contacted by a psychologist who was putting together a series of books on terrorism. The psychologist had read my article and thought I was a good writer … which, frankly, surprised me. (Laughs.)

About a year later, the four-volume set The Psychology of Terrorism was published, containing my chapter, “Everyday Terrorism – The Long Shadow of Our Hidden Dragon: Shared Factors of Terrorism and Juvenile Violence.” I got a lot of positive feedback on that chapter, and so I began to accept God’s calling for me to become a writer. And here I am years later with four books under my belt. (Laughs.)

What’s the greatest challenge you face as a Catholic writer?

Self-doubt.

When I think about the fantastic writers from our Catholic tradition … a tradition that spans almost 2,000 year … it becomes easy to ask the questions, “Who am I? Do I really have something to offer?”

For me, I struggled with my self-doubt and the path that God was calling me toward. In the bible, Jonah was swallowed by the great fish because he was running away from God’s calling. There were many days early in my writing career when I could very much relate to Jonah!

Do you consider writing a primary part of your work or is it a consequence, a way you get the word out about your ministry?

Writing is absolutely a core part of my ministry. For me, writing is an integral part of the ministry God has called me to with Catholic Servant Leadership.

What have been your greatest helps in the work of writing?

Community and relationships. As I mentioned in our first interview, during my undergraduate years, I learned about the importance of community and relationship in the Catholic faith from the Marianists at the University of Dayton.

I strongly believe that “No writer is an island.” As best I can, I make sure I have a good community of people I can have read my writing and give me feedback. That way, writing becomes much more of a dialog for me than a lecture.

What advice would you give other Catholic writers?

My advice to other Catholic writers would be simply: “Write. The world needs your voice.”

Thanks, Tim! If you want to learn more about Tim, or if you find yourself wondering what a wood burning soapstone stove and a 1930′s guitar have in common, you’ll find that and more in his bio. You can also download chapters from his books, tip sheets, and essays.

Filed Under: Books, interview, writing

More of the Lovely Pat Gohn (Part 2)

June 2, 2009 By Sarah Reinhard Leave a Comment

On Saturday, I shared the first part of my interview with Pat Gohn. Today, I’m delighted to share some of Pat’s wisdom — written just for YOU — and more about her. Enjoy!

Of your pursuits — writing, speaking, and now podcasting — what’s your favorite? Or, if you can’t pick a favorite, what’s fulfilling about each of them?
Hmmm…. tough to pick a fav…. Writing is great when it’s going well, y’know? In my early years, before my children came, I wrote for broadcast radio and advertising agencies. Nobody knows who the writers are for those things, so there is a lot of anonymity except in your close professional circles. My writing now isn’t advertising, it’s evangelization and catechesis in the Catholic Church…. So, you could say, I went from selling Chevys and fast food to trying to make Jesus a household name! The other difference is that now my work is in the public eye on websites, or in print, and it usually has a byline that is publicly traceable to moi. So, I’m not used to the attention that comes with that. But what is fulfilling about writing is not seeing the byline. It’s that I’m using one of the gifts God gave me, in his service.

Public speaking is fine, when I have the opportunity. Mostly, I just love sharing about our Catholic faith, and that can happen anywhere. Any time. Whether it is sharing a cup of coffee with a friend and praying with them over a problem, or being renewed in our faith while on retreat or at a conference together.

I really like engaging the questions people have about the spiritual life and Church teaching, and having the opportunity to celebrate the riches of our Faith. Let me sum this up with this quote from Bishop Fulton Sheen: “Most people don’t hate what the Catholic Church teaches… they hate what they think the Catholic Church teaches.” I keep that taped to the wall in my office.

Podcasting is just a fun new media that I think has real growth potential for all phases of Catholic ministry. My particular niche, with Among Women, is delving into Catholic spirituality for women. In a culture where the Oprahs and Ellens of the world dominate women’s media, I’d like to see Catholic women bring their giftedness to the fore. Oprah and Ellen, while entertaining in the short term, are selling a lifestyle, and, a path to happiness that is fleeting, at best. Christians have joy, life-giving love, and purpose — that touches every aspect of life. The call to holiness is the ULTIMATE lifestyle! And it leads to eternal life!

What’s fulfilling about podcasting is not the podcasting, but sharing the content, that hopefully, is a source of encouragement and nourishment for daily life. And to help women have the confidence to be a blessing among the women they know, and among the men and children they know, too.

Pat, if you were to give me advice, as a young mom, what would it be?
1. Stay close to Jesus. Nurture that faith. If you are not growing, you are dying. Pray. Pray. Pray. Look to the Blessed Mother as a guide and helper for mothering. (I know for some of you reading this, Mary seems way too remote, or a tough act to follow. Ask Jesus to help you get better acquainted with her. He helped me — a hard-headed stubborn fiercely independent feministic woman. And I learned, and continue to learn a whole new way of life… of loving service, and surrendering to loving, by generously saying “yes” to life.

2. Love your husband. Laying your life down for him will be the hardest thing you ever do. But it is the closest thing to God-as-love you will ever do. There’s an old saying that the best thing parents can do for her children is to love their spouse. I believe that. (If your marriage needs help, get it. Saving your marriage will save the life of your children. If you’re a single parent, look to Christ as your partner, and find support from your church and wherever you can get it.)

3. Be a responsible parent. Stay involved in the lives of your children. Don’t leave their religious upbringing to others. Do it yourself. If that means you have to learn more about your faith, so be it. While I’m always praising my children when they bring home a good grade or some other special achievement, it’s more important for me to catch them in the act of doing good, and telling them that I see the good in them. Sometimes we are so busy disciplining our children, that we forget that the opposite is equally, if not more important.

4. Sometimes life is hard. There will be sadness, and cancer, and unemployment, and hardship, and difficult inlaws and outlaws, and crabby babies, and dog puke on the rug. Find ways to celebrate and delight in the ordinary.

We celebrated the days kids learned how to pump on the swing, or swim across the pool, or put a worm on a hook, or pass the driving exam. We also celebrated baptismal days as well as birthdays, saints days as well as holy days.

And every now and then: do something unexpected. I once took all three of my kids out of school after first period, because they had appointments with Dr. Slopes — the ski slopes that is! Another time, we picked them up after school and drove straight to the airport to say “goodbye” to their often-traveling father — and surprised them with all our bags in the trunk — and we all got on the plane with him! (Not work, a surprise trip.) Some night, it can even be as easy as having dessert first.

But delight, delight, delight, in all that you can.

Psalm 37:3-5: Trust in the LORD, and do good; so you will dwell in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.

Thanks, Pat, for sharing so much of yourself and your wisdom here and in the first segment of the interview!

Filed Under: interview

Meet the Lovely Pat Gohn (Part 1)

May 30, 2009 By Sarah Reinhard Leave a Comment

Today, I’m thrilled — just THRILLED — to share the first part of a conversation I had recently with Pat Gohn. Pat is an inspiration to me for many reasons. But maybe what most touches me about the example Pat sets for me, and for other women, is her smile. Before you go thinking that I’m superficial, I want you to listen to her podcast and see if you don’t hear her smile in it. I want you to listen to her words of wisdom — which are also the foundation for her columns at both CatholicMom.com and Catholic Exchange’s Today’s Catholic Woman — and see if you don’t walk away changed, even just a bit. See if you don’t find yourself smiling.

Tell us a little about yourself, Pat. Greetings, fellow Catholic Ponderers! Thanks to Sarah for letting me visit here on the blog! I’m married to Bob now for almost 27 years now… we have three children together, Bobby, 21, Katie, 19, and Peter, 16. That equals two college tuitions and one Catholic high school. I’ve long been a stay-at-home mom, but in recent years have worked part-time in church ministry as well as going to graduate school to earn my Masters in Theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville, OH. (Too bad I didn’t know Sarah back when I was studying out there in the summers! We woulda had some fun!) Anyway, I’m just out of school one year.

I’m also a writer, and a podcaster, and have designs on getting back into teaching adult religious education fulltime as soon as the economy improves and I can find a new job! For more about me and my work, go to www.patgohn.com. Other tidbits: I grew up in New York, mostly on Long Island, but have been living in Massachusetts since 1994. I love to read, walk, play guitar, write music, travel to new places, and go out to dinner! My favorite foods are coffee, wine, ice cream, and dark chocolate. Not necessarily in that order.

In one of your recent podcasts, you mentioned that you went back for your master’s degree in theology after your children were grown. That struck home with me, as I have young children now but also have the desire for more education/learning. Can you tell us a little about what inspired that move?
Well, that’s a long story, but I’ll try to give you the “Reader’s Digest” version. Back in my 20s I started a Masters but never completed it… call it ‘life interuptus.’ So, the idea of going back danced around in the back of my brain off and on. I was a voracious reader on all things Catholic, and learned quite a bit on my own in the years before The Catechism of the Catholic Church came out in English in 1994. However, it 1996, I was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer… (booo hiss…) and so, I never really made any future plans for my life after that…. but then my cancer was treated, (Yah God!!! and those great docs! Woo hoo!) and I’m still here, so I guess God had some kind of plan he wanted me to follow.

Some time after the cancer experience, in 1998, I was given the opportunity to go on pilgrimage to Fatima, Portugal. It was there that the dream to go back to school was born in me again. It took me a few years to discern which program was best for me as a mother who still had lots of mothering to do, as well as a part-time job. Plus, affording it is another question! Eventually I slowly starting taking a distance-learning course here and there while my kiddos little. At the time, I earned 21 credits of undergrad theology to get accepted to the FUS graduate program… since my previous undergrad work had been in Communications. The last three years (2005-2008), was when I did the graduate program, my children were teens. So when they were in school — so was I. (It was great — nobody ever had the excuse about not doing their homework because Mom was right alongside doing hers!!!!)

In your various commitments, Pat, what do you find is your greatest challenge? How do you face and/or conquer that challenge?
Discipline has always been my greatest challenge. The word disciple has the same root as discipline. To be a good disciple, I need to keep to a regular schedule of prayer, and writing/journaling, and being in the Word (Bible). All of this helps me love others as I ought. I really do have to fight distractions that would derail me. And there are many. Now, bear in mind, my children are older now, and most of my time is my own for these pursuits. It was even more of a struggle when my children were small. Sometimes, my husband would spell me for breaks to pray or go to church by myself, just so I could focus. I used nap times for rosaries, and playtime outside to talk to the Lord. Going for a walk and praying as I did so was helpful too — again, my husband taking the children so I could do that.

More from Pat on Tuesday, y’all. Now go enjoy the sun (or curl up with a book if it’s raining in your corner of the world)!