Getting Past Hating Christmas

It happens every year: I catch myself saying, with varying level of drama, “I HATE CHRISTMAS!”

My husband points out, every year, that this simply isn’t true. “You know you love it,” he gently reminds me.

He has a point. I don’t really HATE Christmas. In fact, it is at Midnight Mass—or thanks to the memory of it on the years we can’t attend—that I find myself really accepting the truth of the Incarnation, being struck by the wonder, smiling at the beauty of the Baby in the manger.

And that brings us to precisely what I hate when I say, often vehemently, I hate Christmas.

I hate Advent turning into Christmas. I hate Christmas ending when the clock strikes midnight and the calendar turns to the 26th. I hate feeling like I’m speaking a foreign language when I suggest that Christmas parties would be fun—and more appropriate—in the week following Christmas.

Christmas is a season, but the season doesn’t actually begin until December 25. Though our retail empires try to get us in the “spirit” earlier and earlier, all hearing carols in October does for me is make me harrumph and bah-humbug even sooner than usual.

Recently, a dear friend, in a fit of what I assume was frustration, looked at me and asked, “Can’t you get past yourself? It’s CHRISTMAS!”

Well, my analytical brain responded, it actually IS NOT Christmas…and then it hit me.

I place a bigger expectation on Christmas than what anyone can make it deliver. It’s not until I place myself humbly before the poor, helpless Baby that I realize that it’s not about me.

It never was. And it’s not supposed to be.

To that friend, thank you. To my family, thank you. And to that Baby, THANK YOU.

I’ll struggle my way through Advent, trying to fight the uphill battle against misplacing the meaning of the season. And as I journey through Advent this year, I’m going to remember the penance and try the impossible task of not railing against what isn’t really Christmas at all.

This “Finding Faith in Everyday Life” column originally appeared in The Catholic Times

image source

Light a Candle

A Mary Moment Monday post

I can’t pretend that I’ve been really easy to be around lately. I’m pretty impressed that my husband still smiles at me, my mother-in-law will still speak with me, and that my children still seem okay with my presence. Then again, all of that assumes that they are as grinchy and selfish as I am, and they are not.

I’ve been whiny. I’ve been grumpy. I’ve been impossible.

Why has this Advent seemed so much harder than any other? Why has Christmas seemed like a looming impossibility to me? Why, why, WHY?

I have nothing to complain about: NOTHING. Not. A. Thing.

I have suspected, in fact, that the decrease in the twelve-month-old’s nursing and my past experience with depression might be kicking me into some weird thing.

As we dive into the last week of Advent–an Advent where I’ve been blessed by other people’s stories of how my work has blessed them, an Advent where I have found myself to be very blessed (though unable to feel so)–I find myself turning where I always turn when I don’t know where else to turn.

I’m struggling and teary and confused.

She knows.

And she points me, yet again, to the one place I can turn for comfort. She reminds me that the candles I’m lighting lead to the birth of her Son. She smiles gently at me and I feel like maybe peace is possible within my inner turmoil.

Those candles can burn within me, if I let them. They can burn away the doubts I have, the fears I harbor, the unexplained anxiety I hate. In those candles is the symbole of hope that awaits each of us on Christmas Day: God became man. It’s so unlikely, really. He didn’t just use words; he touched us and became one of us.

And maybe all I can hope for for Christmas is the continued pull of my heart closer to his through the guidance of his mother.

credit for grumpy old guy

credit for Advent wreath 

Some Quick Takes Near the End of Advent

— 1 —

I have a special intention for the Christmas Novena, which begins today. Will you join in? Pray More Novenas has a handy site and will even send you emails, if that helps you remember to pray.

— 2 —

Now that I’ve been Catholic for ten years (ten years! ten years?), I find myself recognizing things, and it’s a great delight. I talk more about it, and tie it into Chesterton and the Blessed Mother, during my Mary Minute with Chesterton on the latest episode of Uncommon Sense.

— 3 —

This week, I finished Fatima for Today, by Fr. Andrew Apostoli. I had done quite a bit of research about Our Lady of Fatima previously for various writing I’ve done, but I hadn’t ever read a full-length book about her. This book made me want to read more. It also made me feel a personal call to Our Lady’s requests at Fatima: it made them real to me in a way that reading about the apparitions before hadn’t. Highly recommended!

— 4 —

In the “playing on Youtube for hours at a time” category, my husband introduced me to some commercials that made me go into Marketing Mode.

First, I found everything by this company.

Second, I watched a few of them over and over and over, laughing hysterically.

Third, I went to the company website and spent at least an hour (maybe more like two) tooling around.

— 5 —

Are you wondering what the company is? Duluth Trading.

I’ve seen their ads on the hunting programming my husband and his stepdad watch in my father-in-law’s basement, but it wasn’t until I spent all that time on Youtube, wiping tears from my eyes as I laughed and roared, that I really started investigating them.

Says my husband, who rarely laughs out loud at anything on TV but who starts positively giggling when I reference this or this in any fashion, the company got its start by inventing the little tool-thingy that contractors use in five gallon buckets. (More company lore, with pictures, here.)

Now, from what I can tell, they specialize in making high-quality and ingenious clothing. For example, their Longtail Ts have an extra three inches, so that when you bend over, there’s shirt to spare. And, get this, they make them for women, too! In pretty styles! (Or maybe I just need a new belt? I did order a pretty cool-looking belt from them, though I haven’t gotten it yet.)

— 6 —

I’m not getting anything from Duluth for posting all this about them. I’m just so stinkin’ amused and maybe impressed that I can’t help but go on and on and on.

So, here three of my favorites, though they require a two-fold warning. First, DO NOT drink while you watch these. Your computer may not appreciate the shower that may result if you have the same laughing response that I did. Second, you might want to watch them first before you let your young children watch them.

This is the video that got our evening of Duluth entertainment started:

Click here to watch the embedded video on Youtube.

This audio (though it’s a video, the image doesn’t change) is something I may end up memorizing from listening to it so often. It’s like that speech Chevy Chase gives in Christmas vacation (which I once found and printed and hung in my office, back in the days of working in marketing–and yes, there’s a language warning with that link).

Click here to watch the embedded video on Youtube.

And finally, here’s another radio ad promoting their Longtail Ts:

Click here to watch the embedded video on Youtube.

— 7 —

And, if you missed it, be sure to visit the Advent Wreath Carnival. I’ve had some late entries that I’ve posted at the end. I’ve gotten a lot of good ideas from next year and, even better, inspiration and encouragement to continue my Advent!

Here’s hoping you enjoy the rest of YOUR Advent! Have a great weekend!

Visit Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes!

Celebrating Advent: An Advent Wreath Carnival Link-up (with updates)

Advent is a season that fills me with love and hate, in almost equal amounts.

I love the idea. I hate the reality.

But I’ve come to find, especially this year, that I can choose my attitude (hard though that may be so often) and thus, my reality. Hosting this carnival is one way that has helped me to get outside of myself and enjoy the season.

So welcome to our carnival of Advent wreaths! (Updated with new additions at the end.)

My passion for Advent wreaths is thanks to an aunt (the one who loved The Sound of Music with such abandon). She would make such an adventure out of lighting the candles, and she always had a story about each candle. I’ve since found versions of the stories and shared them in various places, from our parish bulletin to my own book of Advent and Christmas reflections. (I can’t seem to find the original paper she gave me about nine years ago when I started teaching 3rd grade religious education classes, though.)

When I was shopping with my mother-in-law a number of years ago at our local Catholic store, we came across this Advent wreath. I was enchanted with the figures and went on and on and on about how it reminded me of my aunt and the stories she told as she lit the Advent candles.

My mother-in-law bought me that Advent wreath as a gift that year, and it has been a part of our Advent ever since. It’s made by Roman, Inc., though I’ve been unable to find it anywhere online.

(I’m not such a fan of how the tapers tend to tip and sway and need some extra help.)

I’m including the excerpts that we’ve used in our parish bulletin below, which I found online at Living Hope.

We light the candle by the Virgin Mary first, which my aunt called the Prophecy Candle.

The Prophecy Candle reminds us of the promise God made his people long ago and opens the period of waiting.

Then we light the candle with Joseph and the Baby Jesus, the Bethlehem Candle.

The Bethlehem Candle reminds us to make room for the needs of others, as the innkeeper did for Joseph and Mary. It is symbolic of the preparation being made in our hearts to receive and cradle the Christ Child.

This week’s candle is the Shepherd Candle.

This candle reminds us of the announcement to the shepherds of the birth of Jesus and typifies the act of sharing Christ with others.

The last week of Advent, we’ll light the Angel Candle.

The Angel Candle reminds us of the angel sent by God to tell of the birth of Jesus. It is the candle of love and the final coming.

The Christ Candle is in the center, and we light it (and all the others!) on Christmas (and until the end of the Christmas season, which, for us, usually goes at least for 12 days, until January 6, but sometimes as long as the Baptism of Our Lord).

The Advent season ends on Christmas when the Christ Child or Christmas candle is lit. This larger, central candle symbolizes Christ as the light of the world. Together with the other candles, it is a dazzling climax which reminds us of God’s great gift to us.

I didn’t realize, until I started collecting the submissions for this Advent Wreath Carnival, what a delightful and varied assortment there is!

Let’s take a look at our submissions, shall we?

Larissa Hoffman shared her wreath with me (and, in a way, inspired this carnival!) on St. Nicholas Day. It looks like her family is enjoying their wreath and using it pretty often.

Lorna Reine was inspired to hang her Advent wreath by Charlotte at Waltzing Matilda. She made the actual wreath at a parish event a number of years ago.

Heather Hampton says her Advent wreath is perfect for her family with five little ones (ages 8, 7, 5, 3 and 10 months). She says, “No one is reaching for the carrots and burning themselves on the flimsy taper candles.”

My friend Jodi Santini sent this picture in of her family’s wreath. She’s a member of my parish and, a number of years ago, she marked herself as my first godchild when she came into the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil. I particularly love the shiny ribbon.

Pat Gohn of Among Women may claim she’s craft-impaired, but her Advent wreath proves that her creativity wins over those struggles. She shares that this is “easily re-usable year to year. Colored ribbons denote purple & pink/rose colors on a wreath. Just add votive size candles or tea lights.”

Christine, who blogs at Domestic Vocation and is on Twitter as @CatholicMomVA, uses jar candles (very inexpensive from a certain unnamed big box store, she told me), and she said they last through all of Advent. I’ll bet they smell delightful, too!

Jen Minson transforms her prayer corner for Advent. Isn’t it lovely? I feel peaceful just looking at it.

Diane Brooke has a huge outdoor Advent wreath. They light a new candle each week. What a way to evangelize and share the season with others!

Lena Flores, of JOYfilled Family, has quite a flair for making her Advent wreath into a haven, don’t you agree?

Barb, of SFO Mom, is using the same Advent wreath her husband used while growing up, which must make the season feel so special to her family.

Ellen Thomas did quite a bit of cleaning to get me a picture of her Advent wreath, and over at her blog, Salome Ellen, she shares more than one picture. (I just lifted one of them for this carnival.) I wouldn’t mind sharing a cup of coffee with her at that table…how about you?

Kerri shared at Journal of a Nobody that her Advent wreath doesn’t have purple candles because she waited too long to try to get her candles. There’s a tradition, though, of red candles, especially in Protestant churches in Britain (according to Wikipedia…take it with a grain of salt…but I have seen red candles before).

Katie at Orange, Pink, and Green has an Advent wreath that touches my heart. That candle in the center? LOVE! She has a close-up of it over at her blog and explains how she made it (and I think that maybe, just maybe, I might try a version of it for myself).

Thanks to everyone for participating! I think I may have to include at least two more Advent wreaths in my home after this walk down Advent Wreath Lane!

Want to share YOUR Advent wreath? Go ahead and send it to me or link to it in the comments…I’ll update this post periodically and maybe we’ll do this again someday!

New additions (see? told you I’d keep updated…I can’t help it, I want to share them all!):

ViolinMama, from A Rosey Outlook on Life, has a brand-new Advent wreath (the one from her childhood is “lost” in storage).

Sanne, from the Netherlands, shared her wreath and she included a picture she’s working on of Mary and Joseph on their way to Bethlehem. (I’d like to see that when it’s done!)

GeekLady of Geek Tales has quite a lovely wreath, don’t you agree? I especially like the beverage that accompanies it (you mean I’m not the only one having that sort of week?). I like the shiny stuff around the candles, too. I have no illusions about this, though: she talks about making her own candles next year. Wow.

Jen at Happy Little Homemaker has an Advent wreath that screams “I know how to decoupage,” but isn’t it lovely, all the same? She said the evergreen branches didn’t last, though she had them in there earlier, before the needles fell off.

Renee sent me this via email. She shared, “Our family put this together a couple of years ago, using a wreath and some votive candle holders that slightly resemble wine glasses with long stems. We added all the decorations and ribbons. Every night in Advent we gather together to say our prayers, and for the past couple of years we have added the daily prayers from one of the Advent and Christmas books like this one.”

 

Melanie, from The Rosary Chick, has not one, but TWO, Advent wreaths. Pictured at the top is the wreath in her living room. The second picture is the one on her table so that they can enjoy it during dinner. She gets her kids involved in the lighting and praying and, well, every aspect of it. Since it’s unlikely I’ll be able to make it to her house for dinner this Advent, I’ll live vicariously through her post.

Don’t forget to share your wreath!

Thursday’s our Advent Wreath Carnival/Link-up, so don’t forget to share your pictures and links!

I’m looking forward to seeing how lovely your Advent wreaths are! (And I’m going to get a better picture of mine, too. I hope. Especially as it’s now the third week of Advent!)

Who am I kidding? I’m just looking forward to seeing your wreaths…whether the picture is grand or humble, whether the table is decorated or cluttered, whether the candles are lit or even present…SEND IT

What you do:

Take a picture of your Advent wreath.

How you participate:

Option 1: Post your picture to your blog and send me the link to that post viaTwitterFacebookGoogle+email, or by leaving a comment on this post.

Option 2: Send me your picture via TwitterFacebookGoogle+, or email.

When you should do it:

Send me your entry by Wednesday, December 14, Noon EST, and I’ll include it in the post I’m going to do on  Thursday. (And if you’re late with it, I’ll still try to get it included, so no worries.)

Wordless Wednesday: Crooked Candles, Straightening Hearts

Don’t forget to send a picture of YOUR Advent wreath for tomorrow’s Advent Wreath Carnival!

Gaudete and Guadalupe

A Mary Moment Monday post

Yesterday was Gaudete Sunday, the third Sunday of Advent, the one with the pink candle. And today is the feast of my homegirl, Our Lady of Guadalupe. Rejoice!

By the third week of Advent, I’m usually ready to decorate: I’m either resigned to the fact that Christmas is coming or, as in the case of this year, slightly encouraged by my children’s excitement and anticipation.

The fact that the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe falls so close to Gaudete Sunday this year–and, now that I think about it, just about every year–speaks to the reticence I feel about this season in general.

What is it that appeals to me so much about Mary as Our Lady of Guadalupe? Is it that she’s pregnant, that she’s looking down, that she strikes me as pretty in a very human and approachable way? Could it be the influence of the huge image, one of eight that’s been touched to the actual tilma and blessed, hanging in our parish church?

I think, though, that it has as much to do with what I learn about Mary from this image of her.

She appeared to Juan Diego, who was–just like the disciples themselves–the most unlikely of people. He was simple and humble and a convert. He had a difficult life, but he embraced his faith.

And he believed her. He loved her.

Her words to him resonate with me, and when they came up as part of the December image on a Marian calendar I have, I felt them, once more, in my heart:

“Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health? Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything.”

God is always choosing “badly,” isn’t he? I mean, when you stop to think about it, that phrase about how he doesn’t call the qualified (though I think he does), he qualifies the called is basically pointing this out.

God has his own way of choosing, and it goes agains the wisdom of the world. What seems obvious to us as logical isn’t at all how God operates, at least not in my experience.

In Our Lady of Guadalupe, I see a mom looking down at me who can live up to everything I need. She holds me gently and never fails to point me to her son.

Whether I need a shoulder or a boost, comfort or cheering, she’s there.

In Mary, and especially in Our Lady of Guadalupe in mid-December, I’m reminded that I don’t need to do it all and I certainly don’t even need to try to do it alone. In Our Lady of Guadalupe, I’m given the opportunity to embrace and follow, to practice and fail, to smile and continue.

As I light the third candle this week with my family, I’m going to be mindful of walking with Mary through this last part of Advent. I’m going to look at her when I’m feeling the blackness swoop in. I’m going to lean into her when I feel overwhelmed. I’m going to remember that it’s about a Baby, that it’s a celebration, and that the stress can be largely dismissed with the right mindset.

Speaking of Advent wreaths, have you sent me yours?

My past Our Lady of Guadalupe columns:

Advent wreath from Whispers in the Loggia

Our Lady of Guadalupe image from our parish church

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