family

My eight-year-old son’s greatest pleasure at the dinner table lately can be summed up with one word: belching. My mom always cringed when my brother or I did the same growing up. Now I’m beginning to see her side of things.

Take this recent scene from my house, during what had been a relatively civil meal:

Son: (suddenly issues a resounding belch)
5-year-old daughter: That’s so nasty!
Wife: (says nothing, silently clutches her head)
Me: C’mon man, that’s gotta stop. That was really egregious.
Son: What’s egregious mean?
Me (an English major who likes to throw around big words): It’s when you take something too far. You know, when you go to extremes.
Son: (nods, belches again even louder)
Me: Now what did I just say? That’s totally egregious!

I’m a big believer in the importance of living in what I like to call the ‘margins’ – those hidden places in ourselves and the wider world that jolt us out of our comfort zones when we make an effort to explore them. Because getting out of our comfort zones is a great way to grow.

There are extraordinary examples of living in the margins, like Mother Teresa. One moment, she’s an obscure school teacher taking a train ride in India. The next, she experiences a vision that convinces her to work directly with the poorest of the country’s poor. It’s a job so daunting and dangerous she can barely persuade her superiors to let her try it. We know what happened from there.

And then there are less dramatic instances that happen every day– but can be equally transformative for the people experiencing them. Raising a family. Moving somewhere new. Running a 5K. Dealing with an illness or confronting a tough challenge in prayer or reaching out to a neighbor you don’t especially like.

The specifics of the margins we embrace don’t matter; what matters is that we are willing to let them shake up our lives a little. When you’ve finally settled into a strange town or made an unlikely friend or finished a race you never thought you could run, you should celebrate. Be proud of yourself. Take some time to let it soak in. Just remember: it’s not the margins anymore if it’s not making you a little queasy. You need to find new ones.

Asking yourself the following questions and thinking seriously about the answers can help:

How might I push myself physically? A dozen years ago, I didn’t exercise at all. Gradually, regular runs became part of my routine. Then I stepped it up a little, adding in weightlifting. Now I’m trying (so far a bit unsuccessfully!) to work tennis into the rotation.
What can I do to challenge myself spiritually? There was a time during my bachelor days when this meant simply getting myself to church at all. For many years now, however, weekly Mass has been the norm for me and my family. To keep growing, I’ve started working occasionally with a spiritual director who is challenging me to approach prayer in new ways.
How can I stretch myself emotionally? I’m an introverted guy who generally likes to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself – and prefers for everybody else to do the same. This, of course, is not a great way to deepen relationships with those who matter to us most. Over the past year, I’ve made a concerted effort to really communicate with close family members and friends more frequently and more openly.

It’s not always bad to push your limits. Despite what I’m telling my kids now, you might just short-change yourself if you don’t.

—

Stephen Martin is a speechwriter and journalist who blogs at MessyQuest.com. His first book The Messy Quest for Meaning: Five Catholic Practices for Finding Your Vocation, was just released by Sorin Books.

Filed Under: family, guest post Tagged With: family, guest post, self-improvement, Stephen Martin

I’m “Beyond the Pew” at The Practicing Catholic

April 22, 2012 By Sarah Reinhard Leave a Comment

Today, as part of the Catholic Family Fun Book Tour, it’s an honor to be to guest posting at The Practicing Catholic, where I’m sharing “Beyond the Pew: Being Catholic in the Rest of Our Lives.”

When I’m standing in front of the room of fifth-graders, grabbing their attention from the arm wrestling or fashion talk with captivating tales of adventure, it’s easy to be Catholic.

When I’m sharing with another mom why I value spiritual direction so much, it’s easy to be Catholic.

When I’m penning an article or writing a blog post, it’s easy to be Catholic.

And then there’s the REST of my life.

Read the rest at The Practicing Catholic.

Filed Under: blogging, writing Tagged With: Catholic, Catholic Family Fun book tour, family, guest post

A local look at Catholic Family Fun

April 11, 2012 By Sarah Reinhard Leave a Comment

I’m a big fan of our local pharmacy. The owners are parishioners at our church, and I’ve gotten to know them through my work in the parish office and in the community.

They’re great people, and the wife, Robin, is a writer.

She’s also an animal lover, and in her review of Catholic Family Fun on the Plain City Druggist blog, she shares some great ideas and approaches for integrating animals into family fun.

I especially loved, how after she wrote a few paragraphs of ideas and resources, Robin wrote,

…I was having way too much fun thinking of ways for children to also have fun while learning about and helping animals! Sarah’s book inspired me so much that I’ve spent a lovely morning at the keyboard daydreaming and having my own kind of fun! Thanks, Sarah! I think this is exactly what Catholic Family Fun is meant to do–inspire us all!

That makes me smile, because yes, that is what Catholic Family Fun is meant to do!

Filed Under: blogging, Books Tagged With: Catholic Family Fun, Catholic Family Fun book tour, family, ideas

Urgent Prayer Request

April 3, 2012 By Sarah Reinhard 3 Comments

I don’t usually post twice in one day, but something has come up. I can’t share details, but can I ask a huge favor? Would you remember a very special intention of my family’s during Holy Week and Easter? Would you please hold us in prayer? Thanks, friends! May God bless you abundantly.

Note: I’m making this post sticky so it stays at the top of the blog at least for today and tomorrow. New posts will appear below it.

Filed Under: family, prayers Tagged With: family, prayer

The Last Saturday of March Daybook

March 31, 2012 By Sarah Reinhard 2 Comments

Outside my window: It’s looking like it’s going to be a gray day, but I’m okay with that.

Around the house: The girls are up and watching some early morning TV curled under blankets. My boys are sleeping. The washer’s at work across the room and I’m thinking of what I need to do this morning.

In other places:

A column I wrote for Pauline’s e-newsletter, “A How-To Guide for Catholic Family Fun” just went live.
Steven McEvoy’s interview of me is up at Catholic Dads Online. It includes my answers to questions such as “When did you know you wanted to be a writer?” and “What does your typical day or week look like?” and an assortment of other questions about writing and reading and life.
This week, I had some of the most fun I’ve had ever on a podcast. The folks at The FlagShip Galley Table invited me on and wow! I hope they invite me back! Listen to the great conversation about faith in fiction and you’ll find out what NOT to EVER put on a pizza.

In my kitchen: The floor is clean. And now the formerly quiet kids are demanding I make them breakfast. (They know about the stash of new flavors of Pop Tarts.)

In my thoughts: I’m thinking about a fun weekend visit, all I need to do in the coming week, and a host of things I’m grateful for.

In thanksgiving: For the support and encouragement of my family, for the weekly renewal of things horsey, for the weekend ahead.

In my prayers: A very special intention for someone I love dearly and a friend who’s mourning.

Nose inserted: Oh, these are goooood; it was all I could do to go to bed last night!

Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins (fiction, YA)
Wish You Were Here: Travels through Loss and Hope, by Amy Welborn
Walking with God: A Journey through the Bible, by Tim Gray and Jeff Cavins – which I’m using for morning devotional time

Recent reads: I’ll be reviewing a number of these very soon in various places.

The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins (fiction, YA) – I read this because my sister-in-law asked me to, and I was rather surprised that I enjoyed it and even wanted to read the next book in the trilogy. My nieces have started reading it, and one of them told me that the movie is the BEST MOVIE EVER (she’s seen it twice and offered to go with me). I haven’t put my thoughts together coherently, but my early thoughts are that it’s almost like Lord of the Flies meets 1984.
Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter, Edited by Hallie Lord – Fun and informative, lovely and hilarious, this is sure to warrant the hype it’s gotten and earn it’s spot as a best-selling Catholic book. I’m reviewing it in length at CatholicMom.com next Friday AND giving a copy away. Stay tuned!
The Catholic Girl’s Survival Guide for the Single Years: The Nuts and Bolts of Staying Sane and Happy While Waiting for Mr. Right, by Emily Stimpson – I met the author at the Behold Conference, and I’ve enjoyed her writing online in various places, so I thought that, although the book didn’t appear to be anything relevant to me, I’d give it a shot. I couldn’t have been more wrong! Not only was it speaking to ME in many ways, but I marked passages and will be sharing more thoughts about it at length. One of the best books I’ve read in a long time, and I don’t say that lightly! I couldn’t put it down!
The Work of Mercy: Being the Hands and Heart of Christ, by Mark Shea – I thought this book would be a drag, but I love Mark Shea’s writing and I thought I’d make it through it. What a delight to find that this book is the sort of thing I encourage our pastor to use for his Bible study, that I pass on to a good friend, and that I plan to reference and reread many times. Shea made the works of mercy so clear and so relevant that I found myself moved in ways I just never have been. It was touching, even as it was informative. In other words, I loved it.
Fatherless, by Brian Gail – I picked this up reading all the acclaim and rave reviews about it and was really looking forward to it. After all, it’s Catholic fiction. However, I gave it three stars and found myself a bit disappointed. The story does keep moving and there are many parts that are compelling and thought-provoking. I had the sensation of being a bit preached to throughout, and I felt like it could have been about half as long and twice as effective. Nevertheless, I’ll be reading the other two books in the series (Motherless and Childless), so don’t think I didn’t enjoy reading it enough to continue. Three stars doesn’t make it a must-read in my categorizing, but it is worthwhile and better than drivel.
Faith at Work: Finding Purpose Beyond the Paycheck, by Kevin Lowry – This is a great book, hands down. Kevin Lowry is approachable and I found that, though he wrote what is undoubtedly a business book, it’s applicable to all of us who work, whether we work at home or in an office or on the road. Lowry taps into his experience and his wisdom, shares his faith and his insight, and tops it all off with a bit of humor and perspective. I really enjoyed reading it and I will be encouraging others to read it as well.

Plea for advice: Anyone have suggestions for sharing links that isn’t FriendFeed? I thought it was going to be a great way to share in my sidebar, but I’ve caught that it’s been dropping the ball. If you have suggestions, I’m all ears!

A favorite thing: My seven-year-old’s penchant for coloring and the many beautiful drawings she is always making.

Food for thought: “Fasting, which can have various motivations, takes on a profoundly religious significance for the Christian: by rendering our table poorer, we learn to overcome selfishness in order to live in the logic of gift and love; by bearing some form of deprivation – and not just what is in excess – we learn to look away from our “ego”, to discover Someone close to us and to recognize God in the face of so many brothers and sisters. For Christians, fasting, far from being depressing, opens us ever more to God and to the needs of others, thus allowing love of God to become also love of our neighbor (cf. Mk 12: 31).” – Pope Benedict XVI, from his 2011 Lenten message

Worth a thousand words: My boy, who spent at least a half-hour a few mornings ago on the front porch, watching the traffic and pointing to all the trucks