Jeff Young reviews my “cookbook”; Kate Wicker interviews me

April 17, 2012 By Leave a Comment

It’s a day where I’m hanging with the kewl kids. Guess I should host a book tour more often, eh?

Jeff Young’s review of Catholic Family Fun had me smiling and, truth be told, blushing.

I have often wished for a “cookbook” for kids. No, not the kind that shows kids how to cook… Rather, the kind that shows me how to have fun with my family in ways that bind us closer together with each other and with the Lord.

Kids grow up way too quickly. As my kids move from one phase to another, I frequently find myself wishing for a cookbook for family fun. Thanks to Sarah Reinhard, I now have one!

Kate Wicker was kind enough to interview me over at her place. My favorite activity should be no surprise for anyone who’s followed me on Twitter or seen me post pictures on Facebook.

Filed Under: Books Tagged With: , , , ,

Shameless Pictures of Me with the Cool Kids

March 21, 2012 By 4 Comments

I’m not good at getting pictures when I go to events. A few weeks ago, though, when I was at the Behold Conference, I made sure to get some shots.

Here we have the awesome Elizabeth Duffy and Mrs. Darwin, who let me tag along with them. It was great road trippin’ fun, I tell ya!

Kate Wicker and her cutie patootie, Thomas

Danielle Bean was as lovely as ever. And her shoes? Incomparable (and terrifyingly high).

Lisa Schmidt and baby Jude. Lisa gained my respect as someone who can appreciate coffee.

Arwen Mosher (sans twins, who were with her!) and Hallie Lord, who, as you can see, have an effect on me…

Jen Fulwiler, who really is as tall as she says she is (and twice as hilarious)

The conference was good, inspirational, and all of that. How could it not be? They had incredible speakers and the team put in a tremendous effort on every aspect of things.

The real highlight for me, though, was the one-on-one time I had with these and some other ladies over the course of the day-and-a-half I spent there.

It comes back to why face-time is so important for all of us, why we show up at these events in the end.

It’s not for the speakers. It’s not even for the bag of goodies.

It’s for the people. Period.

Filed Under: in the world Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Looking Closer at the Hail Mary: GRACE

March 8, 2012 By 2 Comments

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

A reflection on the word “GRACE”

By Kate Wicker

I once was talking to my 90-year-old nana about my special devotion to Our Blessed Mother. Nana, the faith superstar and uber Catholic matriarch of our family, surprised me by saying it took her a long time to develop a relationship with Mary. “When I was having a hard day [raising nine kids], I’d sometimes find myself thinking, ‘Mary didn’t have it so bad. She had one perfect child.’”

I get what my nana was saying. Not only did Mary give birth to God Himself, but she was full of grace. As in perfect herself. Sometimes it’s hard to feel like I’ll ever measure up to Mary’s beauty, piety, and sheer awesomeness when I can’t even keep up with laundry and have been known to lock myself in the bathroom to escape the madness rather than calmly diffuse the rioting natives.

Yet, what I also find in Mary – aside from her being a Mirror of Perfection – is a willingness to embrace all her imperfect, little children (including me) and to hold them close even when they’re anything but full of grace.

Mary also helps to reveal what a beautiful thing God’s grace is and that it’s there for our taking.

I had a friend recently compare parenthood to that of running a marathon or an ultra race. Her husband has competed in both, and my friend admitted that she couldn’t even begin to think about physically challenging herself to that degree. But her husband reminded her that he gets the same kind of response – “I could never do what you do and have so many children!” – from others who discover he has eight children.

She wrote, “People are capable of doing difficult, unfathomable things.” Mary is proof of this.

From the moment of the Annunciation, she said yes to God over and over. She even said yes to watching her only child suffer and die. She achieved and endured unfathomable things.

How did she do this? With God’s grace.

I know I’m far from being full of grace. Mary was the first to receive this gift, but rather than someone I need to compete with or avoid because I’ll always find myself coming up short, the Mother of God is a beautiful reminder of what God has in mind for us all.

God called me to be wife and mom. Every day He asks me to relinquish control, to bend to His will, to trust as Mary did even when I don’t understand what’s going on – like why does my 2-year-old keep saying there’s a button in her nose? Did she really shove a button up her nostril, or is she just trying to make me crazy?

Will I answer His call? Will I accept that He wants nothing more than to bless me, to lavish me with grace, and to lead me in living a life of trust and surrender to Him?

Or will I instead just give up, believe that grace is not for a sinner such as I am, and hide behind a litany of “cant’s”?

We don’t need to be immaculately conceived and rid ourselves of every sin and annoying quirk to experience a fulfilling, happy relationship with Christ. All we have to do is take His grace where we can get it by staying close to Him, by welcoming Him into our hearts and our homes at the dawn of each new day, and by begging our Mama – His Mama – to show us what it means to be led by grace.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 1:9)

Indeed His grace is all we need, and the smallest drops of it can fill us up. But the first step to having grace means being open to receiving it. That grace may come in the form of a generous offer of a friend to take our kids for an hour so we can rest or go to Adoration, or we may find the strength to make it through the witching hour after we receive spontaneous hug from a child.

Wherever we find the grace – in our home, in our husband, in our Bible, or in our hearts – let’s be grateful for it and allow it to serve as a reminder that like Mary, the handmaid of the Lord, we’re at our best not when we’re questioning ourselves and what we have to offer but when we focus on what God can do through us.

–

Kate Wicker is a wife, mom of littles, journalist, and expert in hazardous waste removal. She blogs at KateWicker.com and is the author of the amazing book Weightless: Making Peace with Your Body.

image credit: my Our Lady of Grace statue (her left hand has been missing since forever)

Filed Under: Faith, guest post, Inspired by the Virgin Mary, Looking Closer at the Hail Mary Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Recent Reads & More In Seven

September 16, 2011 By 6 Comments

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Stealing Jenny, by Ellen Gable

I mentioned it a while ago, but wanted to bring it up again because it is now available for purchase. It will keep you on the edge of your seat and probably destroy your sleep pattern as you stay up to find out what happens. But beyond being a great suspense, it’s also an excellent example of morals in action and family life redeemed. As a fan of Ellen Gable’s work already, I’m now officially getting a t-shirt!

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Weightless: Making Peace with Your Body, by Kate Wicker

Weightless is the kind of book I need to buy in bulk, because it’s the kind of book I think just about every woman I know needs to read. What woman hasn’t questioned her physical appearance, wondered if she should change, felt a prick of unsurety in the face of a full-length mirror?

Kate Wicker is no stranger to body image issues, and she speaks to the reader as if to a close friend–the kind of friend you can tell the hard stuff to, with complete honesty. Kate shares her struggles candidly, even as she pushes you to seek the higher way.

Kate speaks to the hidden part of each of us, to that small voice that whispers, when we least need it, that our butt’s too big or that he can find someone better looking (as though that’s his top priority anyway). Kate brings the love of Jesus to her readers, even as she makes you smile and want to hug her.

Don’t miss this book. Every woman I know deserves a copy.

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Wholly Mary: Mother of God, by Chris Padgett

This book was a delightful surprise and testament to the fact that there is always something more to say about the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Padgett’s words are vivid and he describes deep theology with a sense of humor and complete humility, a combination I found both unexpected and enjoyable.

Whether you have a devotion to Mary or are looking to learn more, I recommend this book as a great addition for your personal (and parish!) library.

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A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms: 52 Companions for Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul, by Lisa Hendey

Over the years, I’ve come to know and love Lisa Hendey. It was a joy and a blessing to read her latest book.

Lisa inspires me with her intimate view of the saints. She not only makes them accessible and relateable from a mom’s point of view, she brings us an opportunity to learn more about the saints in a way that’s uniquely suited for the nitty-gritty of everyday family life. You’ll experience the saints as real people even as you grow in your faith journey.

One of my favorite books this year, and perfect for a group study, an individual devotional, or a gift.

So don’t wait. Preorder it now.

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I’m currently reading an upcoming novel by Karina Fabian (who I met in person–at last!–in August).

Oh wow.

She is so converting me to “speculative fiction” (because I’m more likely to read it if it’s not called sci fi/fantasy, and I realize that probably makes me silly or shallow…but there you have it).

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Speaking of books, today’s the LAST DAY of the Marian Novena of Giveaways at CatholicMom.com.

And WHAT a last day it is!

Stop in, pray with us, and enter to win a great book.

Then pray some more.

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My #1 fan told me the other night that he’s disappointed lately when he reads my 7 Quick Takes posts.

“I always hope for pictures. And there are never pictures anymore.”

This is for him (and for those of you who might not have “liked” me on Facebook yet).

Stop by to see Jen at Conversion Diary for all the fun that is 7 Quick Takes Friday!

Filed Under: Books, family, Quick Takes, Reviews Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Back-to-School Seven

August 26, 2011 By 6 Comments

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I thought this week would be so easy and I would get so much done. I mean, as of Wednesday I have one less kid during . And it’s the kid who fights with the other walking kid.

I didn’t really factor in the baby having an ear infection. Or my husband working lonnnnnnnng hours. Or exhaustion stemming from both of the above.

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And another thing: I miss her.

I did not expect that. I can keep myself pretty busy with the stuff I need to get done. The half day of kindergarten flew by. What’s another half day on top?

It’s a LOT, I tell ya.

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My office needs an intervention. I’m thinking of scheduling time with the Only Person I Know Who Can Whip It Into Shape.

The problem is, if She comes over, I will HAVE to deal with it.

Go ahead, laugh. I’m going to try it on my own next week. But if I don’t get to it, She will have read this, and She will ask me about it.

(How’s THAT for accountability?)

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Speaking of accountability, I have discovered a great thing. And it is called a writing accountability partner.

Her name is Jennifer Fitz, who blogs at Riparians at the Gate and is the brains behind the Catholic Writers Guild blog. She’s a homeschooling mom of many who writes.

We email each other every day, and she tells me what she’s done and I tell her what I’ve done. I have learned, through these interchanges, a few important lessons:

(1) A sense of humor is not optional in the world of parenting and in the world of writing. When the two worlds collide, it’s EVEN MORE important.

(2) Jen is great. (I suspected this before, but now I have proof. In my inbox. Every single day.)

(3) It is IMMENSELY helpful to have someone who shares your state in life to share your writing hurdles and triumphs with. I have a support system, indeed, and it’s great. Adding Jen to it has filled in a gap I didn’t realize existed.

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Can you tell I’ve been reading a lot of Junie B. Jones in the last week? We’ve read three books in the last two days.

I love that my six-year-old (and even my three-year-old, really) wants me to read to her. I love that she knows how bad Junie is, and that we don’t want to be like Junie. I love that I am gaining insight into the niece I nicknamed Junie long ago.

HOWEVER, there is now a Voice in my head that talks in what I can only call a “Junie B. Jones style of talking.” Once we get through these books, I HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING WITH BETTER GRAMMAR AND EQUAL HILARITY!

Suggestions welcome! (Read as: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SUGGEST GOOD BOOKS!)

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This week, Weightless: Making Peace with Your Body by Kate Wicker arrived in my mailbox. It happened to arrive on the day where I had to hold the ouchy grouchy baby, so I held him and the book.

I couldn’t put it down. (I don’t often say that about nonfiction.)

I’ll be reviewing it at length, but I couldn’t resist saying here: all the positive things everyone else is saying and raving about this book is TRUE. (Not that I thought it was false, mind you.) GO BUY A COPY RIGHT NOW!

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I’m going to be blogging less in the coming months, because otherwise I might never get my book done. This pains me, but it’s the conclusion I’ve come to.

My plan, starting next week, is to post Mary Moment Mondays and 7 Quick Take Fridays, with the possibility a quick linky-to-other-places sort of post thrown in mid-week.

Sob.

Yes, I do love blogging. But…well…you know how it is. Something about priorities.

(My Junie Voice has something to say about that. But it’s not nice and I’m keeping my hand over her mouth.)

Stop by Jen at Conversion Diary for all the fun that is 7 Quick Takes Friday!

Filed Under: Quick Takes Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Questions with Kate: Tips & Books

September 25, 2009 By 5 Comments

Sugar and spice and everything nice

The Wicker girls: sugar and spice and everything nice

This week, it’s my honor to host a great blogging and real-life friend, Kate Wicker. Since today’s Friday, she’s sharing her final thoughts as 7 Quick Takes.  (Visit Jen from Conversion Diary for more fabulous takes in quick form.) (In case you missed our discussions earlier this week, Kate shared thoughts on motherhood and writing, her inspiration to write, blogging, and priorities.)

Kate, as we wrap up our week together, talking about motherhood and writing, what advice would you share?

Tip 1. Learn to let go. I used to hate to cut anything from my writing. I was so attached to my words that slashing them was like severing a limb. However, I learned that it was easier for me to edit my work than for it to either not sell or for an editor to change it so much that it didn’t even seem like it was mine any longer. It may hurt a little at first, but take a deep breath and let go of any words and sentences that aren’t absolutely necessary, especially if you have a strict word count to meet (750 words means 750 words). If you’re fond of a particular image (“the trees reached up to the sky like gnarled hands”), then jot it down in a notebook and save it for another piece. Sometimes a sentence or idea may not work for a particular publication (or audience), but it may be perfect for something else.

Tip 2. Never lose sight of why you’re writing. Do you have a good idea? Is there a point of view you want to promote? Do you want to convince someone to think as you do? Do you want to comfort someone, inspire them, reassure them, horrify them, urge them into action or maybe make them laugh? Whatever it is that you (and the editors – you can never lose sight of their needs) want to accomplish, use the language that will get the job done. That’s all that matters. Anything else is like contemplating your navel.

Tip 3. Finally, don’t take yourself too seriously. Sometimes I get in these ridiculously contemplative moods. I might fill a page with a wordy description of one, stinkin’ leaf or I might ponder socialism, vegetarianism, antidisestablishmentarianism or some other ‘ism. When I’m writing about it, it all seems to make sense. Yet, sometimes I have to take a step back and say, “Whoa, wait a minute. What is this? Will others really enjoy reading this??” If the answer is no, then it’s time to move on. If the answer is yes or even maybe, then I can try to sell it. If it sells, hooray! Bring out the champagne. If it doesn’t, que sera, sera. There’s always another market, another editor looking for the right query, another day, another leaf and another ‘ism.

At the end of the day, if I’m not enjoying what I do and am sweating over every single word or rejection, then it’s not worth it. There are too many writers out there who end up sequestered in a little cave with a row of empty gin-and-tonics with an “almost finished” novel and queries that never made it to the outbox. Even if I can’t always write exactly what or how I want, I don’t intend to join that society anytime soon. Neither should you.

Kate’s top 4 books for growing as a writer:

  • Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott
  • If You Want to Write, by Brenda Ueland
  • Word Court, by Barbara Wallraff
  • Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg

Many thanks to Kate for a lovely week together.  Be sure to visit her at her blog!  And don’t forget to check out this week’s round-up of Quick Takes!

Filed Under: Questions with Kate, Quick Takes Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Questions with Kate: Priorities

September 24, 2009 By 1 Comment

This week, it’s my honor to host a great blogging and real-life friend, Kate Wicker. Each day, she has agreed to tackle a question and share her wisdom and insight about motherhood and writing. I hope you enjoy spending this week with her as much as I do!  (In case you missed it, you can find her discussions on motherhood and writing, her inspiration to write, and blogging.)

Do you consider writing a primary part of your work or is it a consequence, a way you get the word out about your ministry?

Kate's always a wife and mom first, but the laptop (or a journal) is usually close by

Kate's always a wife and mom first, but the laptop (or a journal) is usually close by

I’m not sure if writing is a primary part of my work as a mom, but it is a primary part of my life. Like I’ve said, I have to write. It’s just a part of who I am. (Any surprise that my love language is “words of affirmation”?)

I know you have cut back your writing projects over the last few years. How do you prioritize your writing projects while juggling the demands of your vocation as wife and mother?

While I occasionally make reprints available, I’ve made the personal decision to not write for free (unless you include blogging, but I even try to make some money in this forum as well). I know this might make me sound like a heartless money grubber, but a wise veteran mom-writer once told me that I owe my family my time first and anyone who wants to take time away from them needs to make it worth my while. I’ve realized she’s right.

I also schedule writing time into my weekly routine. I used to write every day. This is not always possible anymore, although I usually write something even if it’s just a one-liner prayer in my spiritual journal every single day. (Thank goodness Blogger allows you to preschedule posts; that’s helped a lot.)

But, honestly, as I mentioned above, I’m still working on finding the right balance. I recently was suffering from serious burnout, and I drastically cut back on computer time. It was a very good thing for me to do. I’ve decided that I’m going to take regular breaks from blogging.  This helps give me perspective and helps to renew my body and spirit.

…More from Kate tomorrow, when she shares three tips and four books to wrap up our week together.

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