life in the present moment

Reminder for Me

May 5, 2011 By Sarah Reinhard Leave a Comment

It’s been one of those mornings where I’m dragging and dragging and dragging. I’m so glad, then, that one of the things I picked up early on was Karen Edmisten‘s Through the Year with Mary: 365 Reflections.

Because I needed this:

We may well believe that the most sacred Virgin Our Lady received so much pleasure in carrying her little Jesus in her arms, that delight beguiled weariness, or at least made it agreeable; for if a branch of agnus castus can solace and unweary travellers, what solace did not the glorious Mother receive in carrying the immaculate Lamb of God?

- St. Francis de Sales

I also needed Karen’s little thought underneath:

With Mary as my guide, may I always let “delight beguile the weariness” that may accompany my vocation.

So instead of noticing, with every single moment, how much I’m feeling wearing, burdened, tired, and, well, icky, I’m going to try to notice the sunshine and the bright smiles, the precious moments and the song of the birds, the glitter of daily joy and the hilarity of life in the present moment.

Or something like that.

Filed Under: Inspired by the Virgin Mary, Quotes Tagged With: Francis de Sales, Karen Edmisten, life in the present moment, Motherhood, Quotes, Virgin Mary, vocation

Brought to My Knees

April 28, 2011 By Sarah Reinhard 8 Comments

I heard the garage door go up. And then it went down.

I hollered for the three-year-old, who was happily playing in my mother-in-law’s garage with the dog, to stop.

The garage door went up and down again. And then again.

There were about three shades of red starting to seep into my vision as I got up from the table where I was trying to work.

I opened the screen door, took a step, and was brought to my knees with searing pain in my foot.

She looked surprised and on the edge of crying. The red in my vision was tempered now by the throbbing my foot, and I yelled something at her as I looked down at the garden rake.

A few hours and two stitches later, with my foot propped up, I was trying to laugh about things. But I couldn’t get past the feeling that I had been brought to my knees for a reason.

Now, mind you, I HATE the expression “Everything happens for a reason.” It feels like a cop-out and an excuse.

And yet…and yet, I couldn’t shake the knowledge that, just as I was going to holler at my three-year-old for her garage door open-and-close-a-thon, I crippled myself.

It felt significant somehow. Was there a reason? Or was it just further proof that I should look before I leap?

As I was nursing the baby and then soothing the baby and then comforting the snot-ridden three-year-old that night, I felt the background of throbbing in my foot. I couldn’t walk right. I couldn’t leap. I couldn’t respond as I wanted.

And then it hit me, sitting in my chair with the baby: I was pierced in the bottom of my foot with a blunt object. I thought of Jesus, hanging on the cross, nails holding him in place.

Perhaps this is my chance to have a glimpse–a tiny little peek–at the pain Jesus endured for me. Maybe I can use this as an opportunity to slow down and spend some time with God.

Oh, and I’ll be watching my steps a little more closely, too.

Filed Under: family Tagged With: family, life in the present moment, life with children, suffering

So Little Room

April 27, 2011 By Sarah Reinhard 2 Comments

A weed needs so little room to take root. It doesn’t even need proper soil, near as I can tell. Just a little sliver of space, maybe some moisture, a bit of sun, and wah-lah: Weed Central. You see them on the side of roads where there’s but a crack. We found one yesterday growing underneath an upstairs window.

It reminds me of how little room sin needs to get firmly rooted in me. It only needs a small crack in my resolve, a little light from the not-quite-shut curtain, a tiny seed of doubt.

Sometimes the weeds don’t look so bad. In fact, sometimes they add color and texture to an otherwise desolate area. Sometimes they flower and make you forget that they are a weed. Sometimes maybe they are even a blessing.

Isn’t that just like sin? Sometimes it doesn’t seem so bad. Sometimes it is, in fact, so much more convenient than the truth of God’s plan. Sometimes I’m tempted to think of sin as a blessing, as a better alternative, as a shortcut to the desired end.

When I put on my gloves and buckle down to get dirty with the weeds in the garden of my soul, I see that the roots go deep, intertwining with the plants I want to keep, infiltrating every part of my life.

Only God has the Round-Up that will take care of these guys. Only by his grace will I be able to keep them from taking over again. I find humiliation in this knowledge…and relief.

I don’t have to do it by myself.

I am also reminded about the wisdom of prevention. My brother-in-law showed me the beauty of mulch for keeping weeds out – but if the mulch is applied late in the summer, it doesn’t do as effective a job. When I attack my sins early on, they are easier to change, especially if they involve habits. If I wait until later, it becomes a larger challenge.

There’s probably no way in this life to avoid having the small room available for sin to take root. What I can do, though, is feed the soil of my soul with the sacraments that will help me keep sin at bay. I can surround myself with Jesus, who conquered all sin, and keep company with the saints and people of good influence. I can try to avoid the near occasions that surround me, and pray my way through the ones I stumble into.

A weed needs so little room, and so does sin. I need a lot of help to keep the way clear. Those weeds don’t waste any time in getting started…and neither should I!

Modified from a post originally published September 5, 2006

image source

Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: Faith, Farm Life, gardening, life in the present moment, reflection, spring

A Busy Weekend and a Good Book

April 22, 2011 By Sarah Reinhard Leave a Comment

It wasn’t going to be a busy weekend until that Major Life Change kicked in earlier this week. Now, with Easter plus the Major Life Change (no, I’m not pregnant) plus a horse show tonight, all I have time for today is a quick link with my most recent column at CatholicMom.com, which is a review of UnPlanned, by Abby Johnson.

Have you read UnPlanned yet? I’d love to hear your thoughts on it over at CatholicMom.com, and if not…well, maybe I can give you some reasons why you might want to consider it.

With that, enjoy yourself some Easter Triduum! I’ll be back on Monday!

Filed Under: blogging, writing Tagged With: Abby Johnson, CatholicMom.com, life in the present moment, writing

What You’re Missing

March 18, 2011 By Sarah Reinhard 4 Comments

Maybe you’ve noticed that I’m less active on Twitter and Facebook since Lent started.

It’s not that I’ve given them up for Lent (as you know if you saw my flurry of excitement the other day about my book being on Amazon and my author page), but that I’m not texting updates from my phone.

This week’s Quick Takes is what you’ve been missing…the 140-character glimpses into my days this week (because yes, I have a whole collection of “notes” now to capture some of those moments):

-1-

Sometimes, it just seems like my life is one big batch of distractions. Maybe I would deal better if I had ADD.

-2-

Few things set me straight, especially when the older kids are giving me grief, like the baby’s toothless grin.

-3-

I could’ve done without sitting on the wasp. Coffee does a fine job of easing me into the day…stings on the posterior, not so much.

-4-

My office windowsill has been transformed into a wasp graveyard. Yay for Spring!

-5-

The only thing not dribbling around here is the baby. Girls becoming very proficient at cuddling without interfering with Madness.

-6-

Not texting updates = brain using extraneous characters to describe things.

-7-

3yo is a flamingo. No, she’s a horse. No, she’s a dog. No, she’s…three.

You’ll find a whole passel of Quick Takes over at Jen’s.

image credit

Filed Under: Quick Takes Tagged With: family, in real life, life in the present moment, life with children, Quick Takes, twitter

Getting Past Me

February 28, 2011 By Sarah Reinhard 8 Comments

One of the Mary Moment Monday posts

A while back, Barb wrote a post about the gift of availability, which put words to many things that have been on my heart in the past few months. I did what I do when something resonates with me: I sent it to a certain friend.

Then, the other day, when I read Elizabeth Duffy’s brilliant piece “Released By Motherhood” at Faith & Family Live, I shared that link too.

The friend I sent it to replied, and her reply merits sharing with you.

Been feeling (or struggling with) similar feelings. Relieved that other(s) feel it too!

Would like to have my job well defined. Have either baby days behind me and full devotion to shaping older children (involvement at school, etc.) or know I have baby days ahead and keep myself in that mode.

And I’m 40 with no clear career path if I’m suddenly needed to earn money. My family is my primary job, yes, but I feel strongly that it should not be my only [job]. However, I don’t write or anything that I could do during my available time.

So struggling with this mini midlife crisis, I’ve decided to be a prayer warrior with service availabilty (I imagine myself as a part time nun). This is my gift to the world. Give up fear of the unknown, embrace God’s will and pray for everyone and anyone when ever I can. Offer services when I’m available.

This decision has certainly lifted my self imposed weight on my shoulders to produce something in my days and ease my guilt when I’m rundown as “just” a mom. And I’ll just have to trust God to help with the money part if needed.

This friend and I have been particularly struck by my sister-in-law’s new status as a single mom. A year ago, her husband died unexpectedly. Her income is…gone. She wasn’t the primary wage earner; in fact, her income (at her part-time job) offset the cost of their children’s Catholic education.

My brother-in-law didn’t have a will. He was only 38, after all. This came as a complete shock, a total surprise, and, really, it has me (and this good friend, too) totally tempted to manage by exception.

Back when I was involved in office life, and especially when I was the one in charge, I was dead set against managing by exception. “Rules and policies should not be made to deal with what-ifs and could-bes,” I’d tell myself and anyone who suggested a new rule or policy.

My husband suddenly dying is the exception, not the rule. It is unlikely, and if I live my life in fear of it happening, then I’m thumbing my nose at God’s goodness. I can’t help but think of yesterday’s Gospel reading, from Matthew 6:24-34. This, especially:

“Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.
Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”

This Gospel is a little love note from God, a reminder that He loves me far more than I can imagine and that He will take care of me, no matter what happens.

It’s also a reminder that I have to get past myself: past my own fears, past my conviction that what I think is what’s most important. There’s a lot of humility required in embracing life and trusting God.

When I ask myself, How would Mary deal with this difficulty?, the word Yes comes to mind. Mary is such a role model for me: she helps me to shoot for the more perfect path to holiness, as opposed to the way of least resistance that I have a tendency to choose on my own.

Sometimes, I have to say Yes to things that are difficult and hard.

Sometimes, I don’t have a choice.

But I have a choice far more than I don’t. I can choose, as my friend did, to offer my prayer time to others. I can say Yes and minister to others with little acts of kindness and prayer, and, most importantly, give my attention to those people in my house who are my primary vocation.

On a related note, written in the past:

Battling My Worst Fear

image credit

Filed Under: Inspired by the Virgin Mary, Mary Moment Mondays, Motherhood Tagged With: fear, life in the present moment, Mary Moment Monday, Motherhood, vocation

Burnout

February 25, 2011 By Sarah Reinhard Leave a Comment

Originally posted February 22, 2008, and every bit as relevant today as it was then.

Tis the season for being burned out. I seem to be coming out of it, but when I sat down and thought about it, I realized it happens to me every year around this time. I feel like I’m unable to do it all, like the universe is conspiring against me. The “to do” list seems to be impossible, an endless supply of things I won’t get done, and then the reality of the deadlines and the people I’ll let down washes over me and I feel futility set in.

I first encountered burnout in college, near the end of my time there. I look back and I just don’t know how I did it all—the clubs, the meetings, the organizations, the fund-raisers and the extra classes, the projects for charity, the parties, the hanging out, and on and on and on. That final spring quarter, I was a waste, not worth much at all. Nothing seemed to be worth it, and no matter how much I did, there was always more to do.

After I graduated, I left all that behind me and started all over. I thought that with a job, I had all this free evening time, so I set about filling it. I taught Sunday school classes, attended every evening Bible study, was a 4-H advisor, did county-level 4-H activities, helped with youth ministry at church, and found time to sleep somewhere in there.

Then I got married, and as I was getting ready to jet on over to one of the many evening commitments I had, Bob looked at me and commented, “You know, we’ll never have a family if we never spend any time together.” That really set me thinking about my focus in life, and about what I’m supposed to be doing right now.

I still struggle with wanting to do too much, and then finding myself so worn out from all that I try to do that I don’t want to do anything anymore. I’m trying to find the balance of extracurricular and home life.

Sometime, and especially as we have more children and as Bob begins to take more classes, my extracurriculars will have to nearly disappear. At one point, that really bothered me. I thought that those outside things defined who I am.

But I’ve come to understand that the most important work I do is the work God calls me to do…and to know what that is, I have to be listening.