Anything but Normal

A guest post by Mary DeTurris Poust

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My teenage son came home from school last week and reported that he took his younger Catholic school “buddy” across the street to our parish church to walk him through the Stations of the Cross. After they were done and were getting ready to leave the church, Noah had a strong desire to stay – and not just because he likes missing class. It was something he had never felt before, he said, something comforting that made him want to kneel down in the midday silence.

I know that feeling. I’ve been in our church when it’s semi-dark and completely empty. It feels deeply spiritual and powerfully peaceful. It feels like home.

It’s really not surprising that it would feel that way. After all, ours is a faith that centers on a shared meal, a spiritual version of the kitchen table, a sense of home even among strangers, even in a foreign land, wherever Jesus is present in the tabernacle.

Holy Thursday drives that point home for me. I can easily allow myself to slip back in time and imagine Jesus and the Apostles gathered in the home of a friend. Bread is broken and shared, wine is poured, but this time the meal becomes something more, something miraculous, mysterious, mystical, monumental. And it happens not in a great temple or grand cathedral but around a simple table among friends.

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Tonight, as Catholics gather for the Mass of the Last Supper, we focus on basic, everyday things taken to transcendent, extraordinary levels. The washing of feet, the blessing before a meal, the sharing of food and drink. It all sounds so average, so “normal” – things we might do in our own homes each night — but we know it’s anything but.

If we stripped away all the external trappings of church — the stained glass and statues, the choirs and cantors, the ornate altar clothes and chalices — and gathered around a table, any table, the Mass would still maintain its power. Because the Mass, using the same words Jesus said during his final Passover meal, is not about pomp and circumstance but about faith and mystery.

When I was speaking with Archbishop Timothy Dolan of New York recently, he mentioned celebrating Mass in the hospital room of an ill priest. The hospital tray became the altar. The priest, too sick to stand, concelebrated from his bed with a stole draped across his shoulders. By the end of the liturgy, the priest’s family was near tears, so moved by the experience of the Mass at its essence.

Sometimes I think it’s easy to get caught up in what I guess we could call, for lack of a better description, the “entertainment factor” of church. We sit in our pews and hope to be wowed by the music, inspired by the homily and awed by the architecture, forgetting that all the inspiration and awe we need is right there on a table in the appearance of bread and wine.

Mary DeTurris Poust is a Catholic columnist, blogger, and author of four books, including The Essential Guide to Catholic Prayer and the Mass and Walking Together: Discovering the Catholic Tradition of Spiritual Friendship. She blogs at OSV Daily Take and at her own blog, Not Strictly Spiritual. For more information, visit her website.

Walking Together with Spiritual Friends

I remember, years ago, being shocked to silence when my boyfriend (who’s now my husband) told me that his best friend was his older brother. He said it so matter-of-factly, in such an “of COURSE he is” way.

I didn’t yet consider any of my siblings friends, and couldn’t quite picture what he meant. Now, many years later, I have a glimpse of it. I’ve become friends with some of my siblings and some of his.

It’s a wonderful thing, this siblings-as-friends experience. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I’ve come to realize, over time, that I have quite a few different kinds of friends. There are friends who are with me for a season, friends who I know through social media, and friends who I have the joy of being related to. There are friends who are more like acquaintances and friends who are more like family.

One of my favorite recent reads, Walking Together: Discovering the Catholic Tradition of Spiritual Friendship, by Mary DeTurris Poust, which I received as a review copy, has made me consider another kind of friendship that’s essential: spiritual friendship.

And you know what? After reading this, I realized something wonderful: I have a spiritual friend! I do! (Actually, I think I may have more than one, but one came to mind right away.)

This book is a gem of wisdom and insight, especially in an age of digital isolation. We need true spiritual friends now more than ever, when information is instant and feedback is constant. We need to be able to tap into the holy and sacred in other people, and this book will guide you.

You might find yourself nodding and recognizing those spiritual friends who already exist in your life. You might, on the other hand, find yourself longing for a spiritual friend after reading Walking Together.

DeTurris Poust offers suggestions that will strengthen existing friendships and help you take them to the “next level” and perhaps transform what began as “BFF” into “BFF…eternally.” She taps into both the ancient stories of saints and current lives of living Catholics to build what I’ve come to think of as a manual for growing into a better Christian.

I highly recommend this book, whatever your state in life.

A Daybook on the Verge of February

Outside my window: It is black. Soon, though, it will lighten, and in the lightening, it will probably turn slightly pink in the pale way of winter, and then the sun will blaze through and add orange and then–snap your fingers–it will be daylight.

Around the house: It’s just me and the boy this morning. He’s fussing at me from his chair. I’m glad to share my early morning with him. Soon enough, he’ll be bigger and it will just be me again. Soon enough. (Some days, it can’t be soon enough. Today, by the grace of God, isn’t one of those days.)

In my thoughts: The day ahead is going to be lots of fun: I’m heading to a nearby town with a few friends, baby in tow, to see Fr. Leo Patalinghug of Grace Before Meals fame. I have seen him before, at the very first Catholic New Media Celebration in Atlanta a few years ago, and that only makes me more excited about today’s Mass and talk. I’m also really appreciating this for time with a few of my very special friends.

In my plans: This week, I’m  going to start a proposal for an exciting new project which, hopefully, I’ll be telling you about in the next few months. My fingers are crossed that we’ll have a week of being healthy so that I can get ahead in a few areas, but…well, I’m not holding my breath. I’m starting to feel like I have my feet under me, like I can move forward with the rhythm of our days.

In thanksgiving: For sleep. For coffee. For friends who join me in prayer and let me know it by texting me. For a Saturday of resting–sans big kids–and organizing toys (and hiding/stashing/pre-pitching quite a few). For the Sunday fun ahead.

In my prayers: Today begins the Seven Sundays of St. Joseph (thanks to Leila for the reminder) and I’m going to be praying it for a few special friends who, while facing different struggles in different places, find themselves very discouraged. I’ll also be praying for my husband. No special reason, except that he’s my husband and has been really spoiling me lately and I “owe” him, in a good way. What better way to “repay” him than with prayers? (Though a steak dinner and some football, with John Wayne on the side, might run a close second…)

Nose inserted: Neeta Lyffe: Zombie Exterminator, by Karina Fabian (which I’m reading electronically) and Orthodoxy, by G.K. Chesterton

Recent reads: Walking Together: Discovering the Catholic Tradition of Spiritual Friendship, by Mary DeTurris Poust, which I’ll be reviewing here on Thursday. :)

A favorite thing: Baby smiles and the effect they have on the older sisters, especially when they’re accompanied by coos.

Food for thought: “Our relationships with those on earth are not severed once we reach heaven. On earth, we benefit from the holiness and love of the saints in heaven. They look out for us, listen to our prayers, intercede for us. In heaven we too will assume responsibility for caring and praying for the ones we leave behind . . . . From heaven we will watch over our brothers and sisters on earth, especially our loved ones. We will experience their joys and their sorrows, with ears open always to their pleas and petitions.” – David Scott in The Catholic Passion: Rediscovering the Power and Beauty of the Faith (quoted in Walking Together: Discovering the Catholic Tradition of Spiritual Friendship, by Mary DeTurris Poust)

Worth a thousand words:


Jerry Shares – Books and Hobbies

jweberI’m honored to welcome Jerry Weber back for a discussion of his favorite books and his hobbies.  If you have missed his earlier posts, you can read them here:
Anxiety and Depression
Faith as Foundation

Recent Reading
The last book I read was The Lamb’s Supper, by Dr. Scott Hahn.  The book is already ten years old, but it is really a great book and one that I think Catholics will be enjoying for years to come.  For me the book really shed a whole new light on the Catholic Mass, as well as end times.  It also brought out a new appreciation within me for the many beautiful churches we have within the Church.  I understand a lot more now about the décor inside the Church, some things that go on at Mass, as well as how our time as Mass is truly Heaven on Earth.  That is what Dr. Hahn really gets to in this book.  I think the book is also very good for non-Catholics who would like to learn more about Catholic ritual.

I also have to recommend The Complete Idiot’s Guide To The Catholic Catechism, by Mary DeTurris Poust.  Don’t let the title fool you.  I know some people get turned off with the books that have “Idiots” or “Dummies” in the title, but both have produced some very good books, and this is definitely one of them.  You can learn a lot, or even refresh your knowledge on many things regarding the Catechism, it‘s definitely worth reading.

Hobbies and Relaxing
I love to work with my hands, as well as to be outside working on landscaping.  I take pride in making my home look better, and it really makes me feel good  to do a project myself, knowing I saved money.  Working hard around the house is healthy, and I highly recommend it for anyone who physically can go about doing such things.

Another favorite hobby of mine is watching baseball.  I’m a fan of other sports as well, but baseball is my favorite.  I’m very proud to be a fan of the San Diego Padres, and living in San Diego I get to watch close to every single game, as well as attending some in person.

I will never forget the experiences I had during the 1998 season when the Padres went to the World Series for the second time in franchise history.  I went to many games in person that year, and I can’t put words to the joy those times brought me.  They went on to lose the World Series, but it never took away the fun and the excitement I was part of.  God dropped it into my heart to be a Padres fan:  it was tempting to root for other teams, especially because the Padres have had far more losing than winning seasons over the years, but He knew what 1998 was going to mean to me.  I was dealing with some tough personal issues at the time, but only God would care so much to think of how much a baseball team could mean to a guy like me, especially in those days.  Let’s not forget that I’m Catholic, and Padre means Father in Spanish.  The mascot for the Padres is a Friar.  Praise God I was born to be a Padres fan!  :)

If you’d like to hear more about Jerry’s journey, you can listen to the interview he did a while back on Catholic Moments.  Thanks, Jerry, for sharing your journey and more about yourself with us in the last few weeks!

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